aren't working. Feel like warmed over death, as mom used to say. Lump bigger. Doctor running more tests at hospital tomorrow. PTO at work running out. It's been four weeks today since the surgery. I'm remembering the words of the blessing David gave me right before I had the surgery, that I would be able to "endure" what would happen. Odd at the time, but not so much now, looking back. Thanks for your nice words, just giving an update.
Removing grumpy self from blogosphere,
Valerie
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surgery. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Complications II
So I was doing a little better and starting to get up and around, just tired. I was taking massive doses of Vitamin C because they said it would speed healing, and that appears to be true, the incision opening has been healing from the inside out nicely. So when I started feeling flu-like symptoms on Thursday I thought there is no way I could be getting sick with all this Vit. C. But it just got worse, with headaches and backaches and then whole body aches and chills and sweats and then this lump on my stomach above the incision started growing quickly and by last night was big and hard and red and hot to the touch. So apparently I had an infection and had to go back to the hospital. My mom is a chemist/microbiologist at Lakeview Hospital here in Bountiful and she was concerned because infections, especially around your guts (vs. a hand or leg, etc.) can spread very quickly and get scary, so she made me go to the ER. I'm glad I did, because they told me it was a good thing I came in. I had to get some crazy nuclear-bomb style IV antibiotics and they had to cut me open a little bit (1/2" cut, 3" deep) to let whatever was in there drain out. They filled it with packing and now I have yet a new hole in my body that needs to close up before I can return to normal ife. Gross, I know. My mom took me home to her house at 2 a.m. after we left the hospital so I could have some undisturbed sleep (something that doesn't exist at my house), and I slept until 11 when David finished teaching Sunday School and came and got me. We've made arrangements to have everyone shuffled around for the next couple of days, because before all this happened David had committed to go to WA state for a quick business trip, so he left this afternoon and is returning Monday night. He feels guilty, but we couldn't have anticipated this.
Anyway, I am assuming this eventually will end and I'll feel/be better, but until then, it's back a few steps.
I did order chicks (they come in two weeks) and got all my seeds in the mail. David tilled the gardens Friday and my mom planted peas yesterday (my mom is so great.) The neighbors who moved in just behind us are going to work with us on our animals and garden, which is a huge help since I can't do anything but place orders with people right now. A sad thing, because we got all commercial chickens last year (these new ones are heritage breeds) I'm having problems with my fryers that I didn't kill. I kept 4 fryer hens alive to see if they'd lay, and although they eat too much, they lay gorgeous, huge brown eggs. Well, I'd neglected to think about how fryers are bred to be killed before 12 weeks. Like the huge-breasted thanksgiving turkeys, who literally can't stand up if they are allowed to live after a certain time and are completely unable to mate and be bred naturally--these commercial meat animals can't live healthy past a young age because of our greedy selection of unhealthy animal strains for maximum meat. So our tremendously fat, waddling fryers are getting red, raw stomachs from their dragging on the ground. I knew it wasn't cost-effective to keep them, but loved how funny they look when they run and the gorgeous brown eggs, but now it just seems mean--they aren't designed to live this long (they are 10-11 mos old). A healthy, normal chicken breed can live 12-15 years. although generally laying hen flocks are replenished each year with new chicks and older hens are taken out of commission after their prime laying years (age 3-4). Anyway, that's just sad. So, David's going to have to take them out next week with the help of neighbor Dan, who, although we are novices ourselves, wants to work along side us to learn what we've been doing.
All that farmy stuff cheers me up, as I am generally anti-social, depressed and under-estrogened these days, the first two probably being due to the last one.
Anyway, consider yourself updated. Back to bed for me.
Anyway, I am assuming this eventually will end and I'll feel/be better, but until then, it's back a few steps.
I did order chicks (they come in two weeks) and got all my seeds in the mail. David tilled the gardens Friday and my mom planted peas yesterday (my mom is so great.) The neighbors who moved in just behind us are going to work with us on our animals and garden, which is a huge help since I can't do anything but place orders with people right now. A sad thing, because we got all commercial chickens last year (these new ones are heritage breeds) I'm having problems with my fryers that I didn't kill. I kept 4 fryer hens alive to see if they'd lay, and although they eat too much, they lay gorgeous, huge brown eggs. Well, I'd neglected to think about how fryers are bred to be killed before 12 weeks. Like the huge-breasted thanksgiving turkeys, who literally can't stand up if they are allowed to live after a certain time and are completely unable to mate and be bred naturally--these commercial meat animals can't live healthy past a young age because of our greedy selection of unhealthy animal strains for maximum meat. So our tremendously fat, waddling fryers are getting red, raw stomachs from their dragging on the ground. I knew it wasn't cost-effective to keep them, but loved how funny they look when they run and the gorgeous brown eggs, but now it just seems mean--they aren't designed to live this long (they are 10-11 mos old). A healthy, normal chicken breed can live 12-15 years. although generally laying hen flocks are replenished each year with new chicks and older hens are taken out of commission after their prime laying years (age 3-4). Anyway, that's just sad. So, David's going to have to take them out next week with the help of neighbor Dan, who, although we are novices ourselves, wants to work along side us to learn what we've been doing.
All that farmy stuff cheers me up, as I am generally anti-social, depressed and under-estrogened these days, the first two probably being due to the last one.
Anyway, consider yourself updated. Back to bed for me.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
a step back . . .
Pain and incision complications have been increasing, so I went in to the doctor this morning. It was an uncomfortable ride since I've been in bed for a week. She (my doctor) is sending a home health care nurse to take care of the wound 2x a day for a while, unless David feels comfortable taking it over after a day or two of watching. It involves sticking Q-tips deep in the incision, then shoving gauze in there. He says it may be "above his pay grade." Although he thoroughly enjoyed watching Lucy's c-section, he says the hands-on stuff is a different thing.
On the other side of the incision is a lump where most of the pain is coming from, and it goes pretty deep. She says she thinks it is a hematoma, or more accurately an ecchymosis, which is a large hematoma, or bloodclot. It will probably grow until it runs out of space (which means that side may open up too), or if it doesn't go away it will have to be removed surgically. She said the opening on the first side is probably due to a smaller one that has been reabsorbed.
Although I am supposed to walk 4 times a day, pain limits the walking to 2 minutes max, then I'm back in bed, The drugs aren't helping so much with this stuff. I am feeling very unpleasant in mind and body, so I'm taking 2 minutes to blog openly on the topic so you won't feel bad if I'm being unresponsive personally. If I owe you a call back right now, forgive me for crawling back in my coccoon for a bit. Don't worry, it will all work out in the end, I'm sure.
Thanks to David for setting up my computer so I can blog and surf lying down (although I don't feel like doing so as often as I thought I would).
Also, congratulations to my sweet Doris, who gave birth to her third child, second daughter, and fist baby without me being present for labor support yesterday. Unmedicated, no less. She's a pro at this now, but I warned her that two kids is two kids, three kids is three kids, and four kids feels a lot like ten kids--at least it feels that way to me. Three is a magic number, yes it is. (Though I do love my Lucy!)
Goodbye for a while--I'm surrendering a bedridden life of drugs.
On the other side of the incision is a lump where most of the pain is coming from, and it goes pretty deep. She says she thinks it is a hematoma, or more accurately an ecchymosis, which is a large hematoma, or bloodclot. It will probably grow until it runs out of space (which means that side may open up too), or if it doesn't go away it will have to be removed surgically. She said the opening on the first side is probably due to a smaller one that has been reabsorbed.
Although I am supposed to walk 4 times a day, pain limits the walking to 2 minutes max, then I'm back in bed, The drugs aren't helping so much with this stuff. I am feeling very unpleasant in mind and body, so I'm taking 2 minutes to blog openly on the topic so you won't feel bad if I'm being unresponsive personally. If I owe you a call back right now, forgive me for crawling back in my coccoon for a bit. Don't worry, it will all work out in the end, I'm sure.
Thanks to David for setting up my computer so I can blog and surf lying down (although I don't feel like doing so as often as I thought I would).
Also, congratulations to my sweet Doris, who gave birth to her third child, second daughter, and fist baby without me being present for labor support yesterday. Unmedicated, no less. She's a pro at this now, but I warned her that two kids is two kids, three kids is three kids, and four kids feels a lot like ten kids--at least it feels that way to me. Three is a magic number, yes it is. (Though I do love my Lucy!)
Goodbye for a while--I'm surrendering a bedridden life of drugs.
Monday, February 16, 2009
I'm back among the living (and the heavily sedated)
Hi all. I'm home. I swapped out my phone with one David wasn't using so my normal number is working--apparently phones are very unforgiving of herbal tea.
It's gone back and forth, but I AM on a low-dose estrogen pill, we're going to wait on menopause and see how the pain is from the implants that are left on my other innards. The intestines and the wall of the abdomen have growths they couldn't get off in this surgery. The surgery lasted 3 1/2 hours and recovery was long because my blood pressure wasn't coming back up (60/30!). But I'm home now and am on some narcotics and horse-pill ibuprofen. Every now and then I get a wild hair to come off the percaset (?) because I feel dopey and have crazy evil nightmares, but then get uncomfortable enough to go back on.
We had some incision issues last night where the outer layer opened up about an inch in length. David took a picture for me to see, which I will kindly not post here (I can't bend over very well to see it myself). After a call to my doctor, David flushed it with saline and peroxide and retaped it like a pro, it's staying closed and dry today.
Life involves a lot of sleep and lying there and reading. Reading can be tricky because focusing can be hard with the drugs, but I did manage to finish Pollan's Omnivore's Dilemma. I've been widely recommending this book for a long time based on my reading of several of his articles that went into the book and reading the first few chapters, but now can more authentically and fervently recommend it. As I've said before, it is required reading for people who eat. I wish I could distill it down for you, but short of periodically typing in some of the huge sections I highlighted, it deserves a good reading.
It is written by a journalist who truly loves food (and no, is not a vegetarian) who really wants to know where all our food comes from. He doesn't just discover the (apalling) problems, but reports on some people trying other, viable solutions. You really understand why things are the way they are, why otherwise intelligent people continue to support a sick system, and why it is so hard to change. You also realize why and how your family likely should "opt out." It really is the only thing individual families can do to protect their own health and hopefully move the needle toward a safer, saner food supply for our grandkids.
Put simply, if we really knew where our industrial food came from, we simply wouldn't eat it. As Pollan says, the whole system is built on the assumption that eaters will "look away." If the walls of the processing plants were glass (not just those of the slaughterhouses, but even the plant-based factories) things just simply wouldn't happen the way they do--none of us would tolerate it.
If we knew, we'd demand other choices, and those choices would become more available and affordable. "I don't want to know," is simply not an okay stance for parents in an age of rampant food-borne illness, children beginning adolescence before ten and the appallingly costly burden on our health, the economy, the environment and our moral standing when we buy "cheap food"--which (as in the storyofstuff.com and most industrialized products) looks cheap because it doesn't fold in the greater costs to the consumer in other forms--it is actually much more expensive on a greater scale.
Please read it. You can instead (or in addition) read Animal Vegetable Miracle (now just $10 in paperback) and get a good synopsis of Omnivore as well as lots of practical, interesting and family-level ideas on how to fix our food problems without becoming a "food freak." A lot less anthropological/philosophical stuff, which I like, but you may not be into.
I have come to see the problem as a very spiritual issue with a spiritual solution and it is uncanny how the prophets have guided us toward a better way long, long before it came to this.
As Kimball said, it is important that we do not lose contact with the soil, it brings us humility and opens our eyes to how the Lord provides for us. Needless to say, I am very excited for planting season this year and am ordering my seeds today (maybe after a nap). I'm ready to be off and hoeing--except for the pain and incoherence.
Anyway, I'm back to my usual tirades, so that's a good sign. Now they are just drug-fueled.
Well, thanks for all your prayers and support. Hopefully recovery will be swift.
PS: No worries, Megan, the problems were with the BMW. Thanks for the sweet card! xoxoxox
It's gone back and forth, but I AM on a low-dose estrogen pill, we're going to wait on menopause and see how the pain is from the implants that are left on my other innards. The intestines and the wall of the abdomen have growths they couldn't get off in this surgery. The surgery lasted 3 1/2 hours and recovery was long because my blood pressure wasn't coming back up (60/30!). But I'm home now and am on some narcotics and horse-pill ibuprofen. Every now and then I get a wild hair to come off the percaset (?) because I feel dopey and have crazy evil nightmares, but then get uncomfortable enough to go back on.
We had some incision issues last night where the outer layer opened up about an inch in length. David took a picture for me to see, which I will kindly not post here (I can't bend over very well to see it myself). After a call to my doctor, David flushed it with saline and peroxide and retaped it like a pro, it's staying closed and dry today.
Life involves a lot of sleep and lying there and reading. Reading can be tricky because focusing can be hard with the drugs, but I did manage to finish Pollan's Omnivore's Dilemma. I've been widely recommending this book for a long time based on my reading of several of his articles that went into the book and reading the first few chapters, but now can more authentically and fervently recommend it. As I've said before, it is required reading for people who eat. I wish I could distill it down for you, but short of periodically typing in some of the huge sections I highlighted, it deserves a good reading.
It is written by a journalist who truly loves food (and no, is not a vegetarian) who really wants to know where all our food comes from. He doesn't just discover the (apalling) problems, but reports on some people trying other, viable solutions. You really understand why things are the way they are, why otherwise intelligent people continue to support a sick system, and why it is so hard to change. You also realize why and how your family likely should "opt out." It really is the only thing individual families can do to protect their own health and hopefully move the needle toward a safer, saner food supply for our grandkids.
Put simply, if we really knew where our industrial food came from, we simply wouldn't eat it. As Pollan says, the whole system is built on the assumption that eaters will "look away." If the walls of the processing plants were glass (not just those of the slaughterhouses, but even the plant-based factories) things just simply wouldn't happen the way they do--none of us would tolerate it.
If we knew, we'd demand other choices, and those choices would become more available and affordable. "I don't want to know," is simply not an okay stance for parents in an age of rampant food-borne illness, children beginning adolescence before ten and the appallingly costly burden on our health, the economy, the environment and our moral standing when we buy "cheap food"--which (as in the storyofstuff.com and most industrialized products) looks cheap because it doesn't fold in the greater costs to the consumer in other forms--it is actually much more expensive on a greater scale.
Please read it. You can instead (or in addition) read Animal Vegetable Miracle (now just $10 in paperback) and get a good synopsis of Omnivore as well as lots of practical, interesting and family-level ideas on how to fix our food problems without becoming a "food freak." A lot less anthropological/philosophical stuff, which I like, but you may not be into.
I have come to see the problem as a very spiritual issue with a spiritual solution and it is uncanny how the prophets have guided us toward a better way long, long before it came to this.
As Kimball said, it is important that we do not lose contact with the soil, it brings us humility and opens our eyes to how the Lord provides for us. Needless to say, I am very excited for planting season this year and am ordering my seeds today (maybe after a nap). I'm ready to be off and hoeing--except for the pain and incoherence.
Anyway, I'm back to my usual tirades, so that's a good sign. Now they are just drug-fueled.
Well, thanks for all your prayers and support. Hopefully recovery will be swift.
PS: No worries, Megan, the problems were with the BMW. Thanks for the sweet card! xoxoxox
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A much-needed break
I thought I was going insane, but then I realized I just needed a vacation. David and I hadn't gone away together by ourselves since I was pregnant with Noah, so 5 years ago this year.
I decided to just plan it and make the budget work, rather than wait for the budget to suggest it. We went up to the Homestead in Heber and swam in a big hot spring/volcano thing a few times, spent forever in the hot tub, went to the spa and got a massage (David stayed in the room with his Netflix, because that way he wouldn't be accidentally touched by anyone). We ate fabulous food and I just spent three days enjoying my favorite person. Life at it's best is David and I alternating between various pools of water, restaurants, a spa and a hotel room. I can't remember ever being happier.
We left Saturday morning and returned Monday night in time for a Valentine's FHE with the kids and my mom--we all had a heart where each family wrote down what they loved about you on it.
I am so grateful to grandparents who made the weekend possible. It seemed so much to ask on top of everything else they do (my mom had been with the kids 9 out of 10 days in a row by the end, since David was traveling last week), but I was SO grateful that they helped us out.
We're back in the grind now, facing gargantuan car repair bills, negotiating how we're going to get people where they need to go after my surgery tomorrow, David's working like a dog--the Fed by day, the contracting job in the basement by night. I'm so glad we had a quick moment to come up for air.
The big, fat surgery tomorrow, should take 2-3 hours, depending on how messy it is in there. I am scheduled for 10 or 10:30 Mountain. After surgery I'll be in recovery 1-2 hours then in a room for 2-3 days. David will post and tell you all that I'm either fine or that I died on the table sometime tomorrow--probably before he goes to bed. They are going to let me stay on a hormone patch for a while and see how things go--so, no cold turkey menopause for the time being--phew!
Well, wish me luck! When we meet again I'll be an "it."
xoxoxo
I decided to just plan it and make the budget work, rather than wait for the budget to suggest it. We went up to the Homestead in Heber and swam in a big hot spring/volcano thing a few times, spent forever in the hot tub, went to the spa and got a massage (David stayed in the room with his Netflix, because that way he wouldn't be accidentally touched by anyone). We ate fabulous food and I just spent three days enjoying my favorite person. Life at it's best is David and I alternating between various pools of water, restaurants, a spa and a hotel room. I can't remember ever being happier.
We left Saturday morning and returned Monday night in time for a Valentine's FHE with the kids and my mom--we all had a heart where each family wrote down what they loved about you on it.
I am so grateful to grandparents who made the weekend possible. It seemed so much to ask on top of everything else they do (my mom had been with the kids 9 out of 10 days in a row by the end, since David was traveling last week), but I was SO grateful that they helped us out.
We're back in the grind now, facing gargantuan car repair bills, negotiating how we're going to get people where they need to go after my surgery tomorrow, David's working like a dog--the Fed by day, the contracting job in the basement by night. I'm so glad we had a quick moment to come up for air.
The big, fat surgery tomorrow, should take 2-3 hours, depending on how messy it is in there. I am scheduled for 10 or 10:30 Mountain. After surgery I'll be in recovery 1-2 hours then in a room for 2-3 days. David will post and tell you all that I'm either fine or that I died on the table sometime tomorrow--probably before he goes to bed. They are going to let me stay on a hormone patch for a while and see how things go--so, no cold turkey menopause for the time being--phew!
Well, wish me luck! When we meet again I'll be an "it."
xoxoxo
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Gory Details
#1 question asked by people who read my blog but have resorted to email because I don't post enough: My surgery is now scheduled for 2/11, I'll be off of work 4-6 weeks. Putting off the surgery has had some drawbacks in the form of fatigue and pain, and the endometriosis perhaps has spread to other organs, but that wasn't the fault of the few extra months. The Dr. possibly will have me not take any hormones after surgery for a while, so I'll go into instant full-blown menopause (for the third time) to kill off all the rogue endometrial cells in random places in my body. I'm scared about that because it made me (more of a) screaming, crying, hot-flashing psychopath.
I watched the inauguration at work on some TVs they hooked up for the employees in the warehouse. I was happy and do hope as a nation we do begin to take more responsibility for the wide-ranging impact of our actions, but try to I'll spare you my thoughts beyond that. Shauna sent me Dr. Laura's comments, I can't say I've heard her (ever), but I saw some things I agreed with. I tried really hard today to avoid the sour grapes of people and bloggers and journalists who didn't vote for him. I know if today was McCain's day, I would have watched and been proud of our country and can't understand why that's so hard for some. But, I've really tried to let go of such thinking.
Anyway, I'm very tired, but we are very blessed. Strangely, I'm looking forward to surgery because it means I can lie down.
(PS, sorry if my image grosses you out, I offer it only in the spirit of amusement)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Surgery
Apparently many of you are wondering why I'm having surgery. I had a lot of baby-factory problems, which is why it took me 7 years to get pregnant with Ben. When by some miracle I did finally get pregnant, they said "Stay pregnant, because when you're done, this stuff (endometriosis) is so bad it will come back with a vengeance and you'll have to have it all out." So, I was pregnant or nursing for 9 years, but over the past two years that I wasn't pregnant, I started having a lot of discomfort, like there's a rock garden in there or something. I finally remembered this last ominous warning my OB had given me long ago and I went into my doctor here and he said, "Yep, it's a mess in there, endometrial cysts, fibroids, who knows what else, you've got to have it all out." This also means ovaries, which are a source and implant place for a lot of the problems, so that means pills for 15 years, and it also means that David likes to refer to my surgery as a "gender reassignment."
I am uncomfortable enough now that I am sad about waiting another month, but it's for the best.
There's your TMI for the day. Hope you enjoyed it.
I am uncomfortable enough now that I am sad about waiting another month, but it's for the best.
There's your TMI for the day. Hope you enjoyed it.
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