Here is my beef with the state of the nation for today. This is my letter I wrote to pretty much everyone today (this copy went to the presidential candidates). Agree with me or not, whatev. But if you do happen to agree, write your representative! If you don't, love me anyway.
---
A New York Times article today about increasing foreign investment touched a nerve that has been getting more raw for me over the past months which I feel should be part of the election debate:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/20/business/20invest.html?hp
I am an independent, and I actually am fine with most immigration, as most of us got here that way one way or the other, and the land we're protecting once belonged to many of those we're protecting it from anyway.
But we are so distracted by concern about Mexicans coming over the border to pick our fruit and clean our houses that we are failing to notice thousands of non-citizens buying up land and homes in the US, taking advantage of a weak dollar and an ailing economy.
While working Southern Californians like me can never hope to own a home here, wealthy investors from foreign nations are snapping up (even over-priced) property with ease, making the American dream even more distant for regular American families like ours.
At the same time, we allow investment firms operated by Arab nations to "save" our nation's banks and corporations, assuming the benefit of propping our tumbling stocks will outweigh the long-term impact. Our government continues to borrow money from some of these same nations, even those with vast idealogical differences, to support our spending habits. The years ahead will show how short-sighted this is.
THIS PROBLEM WILL HAVE MUCH MORE LONG-TERM IMPACT on Americans' lives than illegal immigration of low-skilled and migrant workers doing our unpleasant work. This needs urgent attention. If Americans were aware of the extent and the pace of this investment, they would be alarmed, whether they leaned left or right. Action needs to be taken to protect our ability to have our own home, and not just rent our American homes from foreign and immigrant landlords, however nice they may be.
As a candidate, as a senator, and if you win the White House, please protect American land for American citizens and start now to set strict limits on the purchase of American property by non citizens. Please don’t wait until after the election, but help make this a needed part of the election discussion.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
More Required Reading
This week I was full of good intentions, got sick, did not do much of anything, and have about that much to show for it. The Suburban Harvest website is still close but not done, although I did line up Food Bank centers who are really excited about the project, as fresh produce is hard to come by. I really need to get that on line this week.
Noah made me laugh today because he kept saying goodbye to his church friends by saying, "Goodbye, alligator." Doesn't quite get the catchy rhyme requirement.
So, you are hereby strong-armed into to joining me on my new parenting blog. I recognize that those of you who know me will find the fact I'm writing a parenting blog either ironic, frightening or hilarious. But that is why it is a fun blog to visit. There are plenty of expert sites out there telling you how to parent, but not so many that make you feel like a better parent just by reading.
I'm also taking submissions for entries--anything real, unassuming, amusing and maybe even mildly humiliating, that includes one practical idea that has proven successful on at least one occasion (even if it is likely to never happen again). I'm shamelessly asking you to visit the site, comment on the site, and most of all, tell everyone you know about the site.
I'm doing this for the following reasons:
1. I think sharing real parenting experiences is sometimes more helpful than reading expert advice.
2. I find it healthy (or at least cathartic) to air my dirty laundry in a semi-anonymous setting
3. Maybe someone out there will take comfort in my effort to not hide how crazy it is at my place and realize they’re not alone.
4. I like writing, but I like the comments and feedback--it's no fun to talk to myself (although I do).
5. If I get hits it will say, "Hey, Three Rivers Press, people read this person's stuff so publish her book already." Then I can check that one off, and learn to fly a helicopter, play the cello, knit, speak Spanish, lumber through a sprint triathalon, and then I'll be free to die.
I’m hoping to now cash in all my good Karma from never sending spam and never asking people to forward anything to anyone. Forward this with your favorable comments to your whole address book and I am sure something fabulous will happen to you sometime in the next 5-10 years.
Come, visit, make comments, send submissions. Happy, sane parenting!
http://mamamelodrama.blogspot.com/
Noah made me laugh today because he kept saying goodbye to his church friends by saying, "Goodbye, alligator." Doesn't quite get the catchy rhyme requirement.
So, you are hereby strong-armed into to joining me on my new parenting blog. I recognize that those of you who know me will find the fact I'm writing a parenting blog either ironic, frightening or hilarious. But that is why it is a fun blog to visit. There are plenty of expert sites out there telling you how to parent, but not so many that make you feel like a better parent just by reading.
I'm also taking submissions for entries--anything real, unassuming, amusing and maybe even mildly humiliating, that includes one practical idea that has proven successful on at least one occasion (even if it is likely to never happen again). I'm shamelessly asking you to visit the site, comment on the site, and most of all, tell everyone you know about the site.
I'm doing this for the following reasons:
1. I think sharing real parenting experiences is sometimes more helpful than reading expert advice.
2. I find it healthy (or at least cathartic) to air my dirty laundry in a semi-anonymous setting
3. Maybe someone out there will take comfort in my effort to not hide how crazy it is at my place and realize they’re not alone.
4. I like writing, but I like the comments and feedback--it's no fun to talk to myself (although I do).
5. If I get hits it will say, "Hey, Three Rivers Press, people read this person's stuff so publish her book already." Then I can check that one off, and learn to fly a helicopter, play the cello, knit, speak Spanish, lumber through a sprint triathalon, and then I'll be free to die.
I’m hoping to now cash in all my good Karma from never sending spam and never asking people to forward anything to anyone. Forward this with your favorable comments to your whole address book and I am sure something fabulous will happen to you sometime in the next 5-10 years.
Come, visit, make comments, send submissions. Happy, sane parenting!
http://mamamelodrama.blogspot.com/
Sunday, January 6, 2008
A Fresh Start
Happy New Year! Do you like my new pic on the blog? This year that little trist will have taken place 20 YEARS AGO. Craziness!
I am not looking forward to getting back into the school routine, the laziness has been very nice.
David worked hard on the scout fundraiser all day on Jan 1 & 2, raking in piles of dough to support his program, but stretching out the illness he had before that due to many hours of exertion outside, so he's all cuddled up in jammies today doing crosswords.
Lucy is a little firecracker--since she is underweight and has problems with dairy and soy, she is nursed whenever she wants. Because when she cries hard she starts to have lung issues and wheeze, she is sometimes placated regardless of whether or not it is the best idea. She wakes up at night, wants to nurse and sleep with me all the time, is still easily toted in an infant carseat and still sleeps in a boppy in her crib (for that three hours a day she will stay in her crib--2 napping and 1 at night). Somehow through all of this she has come to feel that she should have whatever she wants whenever she wants. I'm trying to explain to her that she is 19 months old, not 6 months old. Her church behavior today was, I feel, a preview to many sabbath wrestling matches to come.
Noah has been a little bored over the holidays sometimes and has watched too much TV. Potty training is not going so well again, and I thought we'd turned a corner. He sleeps great, I'll give him that. And he's hilarious and sweet and adorable. I need to write down the things he says more often, he gets me laughing almost every day.
Sophie has really enjoyed being home, it has been so nice having her around. She wrote a fully illustrated book about Santa Claus yesterday that was just wonderful, with creative pictures and spelling. She's just a joy.
I am embarrassed to say that all I do in my spare time right now is blog. I'd forgotten how much I love writing. Where am I blogging? You might ask? I'm blogging a tiny bit on suburbanharvest.blogspot.com and two other sites that aren't yet open to the public, but will be soon. I'll tell you about those more next week, when one will be ready and I'll shamelessly ask you to send it to everyone you know. Although I'm very entertained by and learn a lot from several blogs, there is something so egotistical and voyeuristic about blogging. Still, for writing addicts like myself, the ability to self-publish is dangerous. I'm posting like crazy, loving it, and don't even have public sites. Silly, silly Valerie.
Benjamin has had some great time hanging out with his dad, he really thrives on that and is starting to turn a corner in his development where he wants less to romp and play as to be with his dad. For instance, on the 31st, I decided to take the kids to the zoo while David did fundraising prep. Ben chose errands with dad. Here are some zoo pics:
Sophie (with conspicuously missing teeth) and a lion, who had just roared! I never thought I'd hear a lion roar in the zoo! It was loud and intense and amazing. Noah was a little freaked out.
Here is a koala. They were all out and easy to see. I'd been to the zoo a lot but never had seen the koalas well. The ones I took of koalas and my kids were blurry, so here's just a plain one.
A parent and baby giraffe!
Noah attacking a hippo on the zoo playground.
Sophie being a monkey, as she is wont to do.
Eli and Noah both used this phone booth as a fancy VIP Seat for the parade. This is me, Sophie, Noah and our friends Thomas and Kath Chamberlain. The Chamberlains crammed with us in our van to drive over and we had a grand time.
I am not looking forward to getting back into the school routine, the laziness has been very nice.
David worked hard on the scout fundraiser all day on Jan 1 & 2, raking in piles of dough to support his program, but stretching out the illness he had before that due to many hours of exertion outside, so he's all cuddled up in jammies today doing crosswords.
Lucy is a little firecracker--since she is underweight and has problems with dairy and soy, she is nursed whenever she wants. Because when she cries hard she starts to have lung issues and wheeze, she is sometimes placated regardless of whether or not it is the best idea. She wakes up at night, wants to nurse and sleep with me all the time, is still easily toted in an infant carseat and still sleeps in a boppy in her crib (for that three hours a day she will stay in her crib--2 napping and 1 at night). Somehow through all of this she has come to feel that she should have whatever she wants whenever she wants. I'm trying to explain to her that she is 19 months old, not 6 months old. Her church behavior today was, I feel, a preview to many sabbath wrestling matches to come.
Noah has been a little bored over the holidays sometimes and has watched too much TV. Potty training is not going so well again, and I thought we'd turned a corner. He sleeps great, I'll give him that. And he's hilarious and sweet and adorable. I need to write down the things he says more often, he gets me laughing almost every day.
Sophie has really enjoyed being home, it has been so nice having her around. She wrote a fully illustrated book about Santa Claus yesterday that was just wonderful, with creative pictures and spelling. She's just a joy.
I am embarrassed to say that all I do in my spare time right now is blog. I'd forgotten how much I love writing. Where am I blogging? You might ask? I'm blogging a tiny bit on suburbanharvest.blogspot.com and two other sites that aren't yet open to the public, but will be soon. I'll tell you about those more next week, when one will be ready and I'll shamelessly ask you to send it to everyone you know. Although I'm very entertained by and learn a lot from several blogs, there is something so egotistical and voyeuristic about blogging. Still, for writing addicts like myself, the ability to self-publish is dangerous. I'm posting like crazy, loving it, and don't even have public sites. Silly, silly Valerie.
Benjamin has had some great time hanging out with his dad, he really thrives on that and is starting to turn a corner in his development where he wants less to romp and play as to be with his dad. For instance, on the 31st, I decided to take the kids to the zoo while David did fundraising prep. Ben chose errands with dad. Here are some zoo pics:
Sophie (with conspicuously missing teeth) and a lion, who had just roared! I never thought I'd hear a lion roar in the zoo! It was loud and intense and amazing. Noah was a little freaked out.
Here is a koala. They were all out and easy to see. I'd been to the zoo a lot but never had seen the koalas well. The ones I took of koalas and my kids were blurry, so here's just a plain one.
A parent and baby giraffe!
Noah attacking a hippo on the zoo playground.
Sophie being a monkey, as she is wont to do.Now for the major event of the week, the big fat Rose Bowl Parade! Tuesday we popped up and went over to our friends the Hunter's who live by where we used to on the parade route--they saved a space for us. I was going to put some float pictures in here, but theirs are better and she has a good description of the excitement, so pop on over there for the parade pics, then come back and see my people pics.
Ready? Ok:
Eli and Noah both used this phone booth as a fancy VIP Seat for the parade. This is me, Sophie, Noah and our friends Thomas and Kath Chamberlain. The Chamberlains crammed with us in our van to drive over and we had a grand time.
Me and Lucy, both covered in cookie goo from Lucy's 10-minute cookie-eating project.
Sophie and Ella, having wiggled their way into a front spot between all the people who stayed overnight.
Ben and Addy Hunter. Sad story, really. Years ago Ben settled on her for his eternal mate, but Addy has other plans.
Emeril Lagasse! Charisma, cooking skills, complicated recipies. Reminds me a bit of a gangster. But I was excitedly compelled to take a picture, so all my aloof coolness is betrayed to reveal I do get excited about the occassional celebrity--if they are related to food.
I'm reading some great books, I'll tell you all about them on my other blogs later. Wishing you all a very happy new year!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Christmas
We had a truly wonderful Christmas, quiet, cozy and happy.
Decorating cookies on Christmas Eve
Lucy's version of "decorating"
The layout before kids got to it
Lucy and the new chair she was very excited about (but it was from the dollar store, so it broke before the day was out).
David loves Christmas! (Temporarily Unclassified Information)We got some wonderfully generous and unexpected gifts at the last minute from a Secret Santa, and should that person be a reader of my blog, I wish to thank them deeply for their kindness. There was a loud, quick banging on our door around 9ish Christmas eve that startled us a great deal, and once we figured out what was going on and we brought in the box, I was at first confused, because I thought we'd put together a respectable Christmas layout this year and wondered why we'd been chosen. But then we both read the note, which was clearly from a ward member and was so sweet and loving. We both felt so touched as we realized that it was not a gift of charity so much as one of heartfelt love and appreciation. It must have been the season, because we were both a little weepy over it. I'm sure I've overstepped my wifely confidentiality agreement by sharing that fact with you.
Looking over the past year, I am happy to say that I actually met some of my goals for this year, which generally just doesn't happen. This was the year I really started my family history because of the Stake and Ward goals, and I was able to submit around 60 names for temple work. I finished this fun family tree for my in-laws with eight solid generations from my children:
We gave it to them framed, with poster copies for David's brothers and sister. I felt really happy that I actually did what I set out to do. It's pretty pathetic that keeping a promise to myself is so rare, but it is what it is.
It's motivated me to timidly make more promises to myself for the coming year. I definitely want to continue the family history hour on Sundays, especially with the new fancy consolidated program coming out next month.
But, as for adding new things, the primary one is to build structure in my own life and in my home, because with that structure comes comfort and all of the other things we need to be doing, like exercise, diet (food planning), etc. I find that if just have the discipline to make and keep a dedicated time for something that needs doing, it just happens (like this family journal), and I don't have to fret and worry about it. I'm trying to do that with more things, like family and individual scripture study and prayer. We've done a lot better with FHE this year but still have room for improvement.
So, in addition to structure I'm going to try to learn to be softspoken. There I've said it, it's out there. May the force be with me.
My concrete goal for this year to see if we can't try out a volunteer program Ben thought up. You can find out all about it on our progress blog:
http://suburbanharvest.blogspot.com/
The website is almost ready to go up, just waiting until we want to spend the money for hosting.
I'm excited about it because I think it will help Ben understand better how to organize his plans and ideas and manage a project (since he's so convinced he'll be a self-employed inventor like his Grandpa Wise and I'd like to help him succeed where Gpa did not do so well). It also really touches on things I care about and I believe it provides a needed service. We'll have to see how it goes.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Christmas is coming, and it's not The Goose who's getting fat!
By which I mean, of course, "The Goose," which is my husband's only term for our youngest child (I persist in calling her Lucia [Italian-style] since David rejected that name, but I assume since he has gone so off track with her nickname I can call her whatever I want). The Goose refuses to grow still and is simply burning more calories than ever zipping about the house. As for me, I'm actually skipping regular meals now to make up for chocolate eating--I'm hoping the calories will even out. Yay, Christmas!
It's been a nice, relaxed week. I've just lowered my expectations of myself, and, lo and behold, I'm a much more accomplished person!
Ben is anxiously awaiting a bike from Santa, Sophie asked for a "Puppy grows and knows your name." We've been planning menus and shopping a bit, but have succeeded in having a more modest Christmas overall that is heavy on the Christmas Spirit. Forgive me if I've mentioned this already, but David made me an MP3 CD containing every song from every Christmas CD we own, and it plays on our DVD player--that does much to spread the cheer. He is so useful! I forsee his obituary: "He was a very Useful man."
Ben and Sophie are happy to be done with school for the year. However, now, Sophie is totally sick. She planned on going to the zoo with her best friend Sydney on Saturday, but acted weird in the morning, crying over everything and saying she had a headache. She put herself to bed for a nap at 10 a.m.--very weird. Then she acted all fine, so I proceeded to tell them to pick her up, but while they were on their way over, she commenced throwing up. She has had weird sleeping patterns the past few nights, also. I stayed home with her during church today and her fever got up to 102.5. She's also had a mild cough--random set of symptoms. She has enjoyed all the snuggling and coddling immensely. I might be fostering a future hypochondriac.
Noah needs a 3-year-old-sized hamster wheel. I checked Freecycle, but no go.
I had the greatest night last night, when my friend took me to "Joyful Foot Massage" for their $15 Reflexogy foot special. It was a 60 full minutes! It started with a full neck-to-hip massage (clothed) by some super-strong reflexology genius named Tom while I soaked my feet in hot herbal tea in a darkened room with soft music and animated photographs of waterfalls on the walls. Then I put my feet up in a recliner while Tom kneaded my shoulders, neck and face into rubbery oblivion. Then, we got to the feet part ("foot" apparently includes everything below the knee), which was probably wonderful also but I fell asleep for most of that. I left there a different woman.
I decided that I will give up every treat and non-necessary expense for the rest of my life to go back there on a regular basis. Reflexology is amazing.
Then late last night I started worrying about Tom, and wondering if my $5 tip was all he got out of the deal, and knowing he didn't speak English so I couldn't ask him. I assumed that he was probably illegal, as he is a clearly very talented 40ish man but couldn't possibly be making much even if they did supplement the tip. So, now I still want to go back, but when we're in the money I want to get the $150 for 11 visits so each visit is just over $13, then I will only go when I have at least $10 for Tom's tip. Darn the wonderfully effective Story of Stuff for breaking down my happily compartmentalized consumerism.
So, I guess it is really $25. Email me if you want me to take you some Tues or Thurs night. It. Is. Amazing.
Merry Christmas & Joy to the World!
It's been a nice, relaxed week. I've just lowered my expectations of myself, and, lo and behold, I'm a much more accomplished person!
Ben is anxiously awaiting a bike from Santa, Sophie asked for a "Puppy grows and knows your name." We've been planning menus and shopping a bit, but have succeeded in having a more modest Christmas overall that is heavy on the Christmas Spirit. Forgive me if I've mentioned this already, but David made me an MP3 CD containing every song from every Christmas CD we own, and it plays on our DVD player--that does much to spread the cheer. He is so useful! I forsee his obituary: "He was a very Useful man."
Ben and Sophie are happy to be done with school for the year. However, now, Sophie is totally sick. She planned on going to the zoo with her best friend Sydney on Saturday, but acted weird in the morning, crying over everything and saying she had a headache. She put herself to bed for a nap at 10 a.m.--very weird. Then she acted all fine, so I proceeded to tell them to pick her up, but while they were on their way over, she commenced throwing up. She has had weird sleeping patterns the past few nights, also. I stayed home with her during church today and her fever got up to 102.5. She's also had a mild cough--random set of symptoms. She has enjoyed all the snuggling and coddling immensely. I might be fostering a future hypochondriac.
Noah needs a 3-year-old-sized hamster wheel. I checked Freecycle, but no go.
I had the greatest night last night, when my friend took me to "Joyful Foot Massage" for their $15 Reflexogy foot special. It was a 60 full minutes! It started with a full neck-to-hip massage (clothed) by some super-strong reflexology genius named Tom while I soaked my feet in hot herbal tea in a darkened room with soft music and animated photographs of waterfalls on the walls. Then I put my feet up in a recliner while Tom kneaded my shoulders, neck and face into rubbery oblivion. Then, we got to the feet part ("foot" apparently includes everything below the knee), which was probably wonderful also but I fell asleep for most of that. I left there a different woman.
I decided that I will give up every treat and non-necessary expense for the rest of my life to go back there on a regular basis. Reflexology is amazing.
Then late last night I started worrying about Tom, and wondering if my $5 tip was all he got out of the deal, and knowing he didn't speak English so I couldn't ask him. I assumed that he was probably illegal, as he is a clearly very talented 40ish man but couldn't possibly be making much even if they did supplement the tip. So, now I still want to go back, but when we're in the money I want to get the $150 for 11 visits so each visit is just over $13, then I will only go when I have at least $10 for Tom's tip. Darn the wonderfully effective Story of Stuff for breaking down my happily compartmentalized consumerism.
So, I guess it is really $25. Email me if you want me to take you some Tues or Thurs night. It. Is. Amazing.
Merry Christmas & Joy to the World!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Cure for the Limbo Blues: Love, Music and Revelation
Today we had our Christmas program. Our ward has a lot of holiday travel, so we do it early each December. It was a truly wonderful thing, which wasn't necessarily unexpected, but in the past several weeks I was too much in a grumpy cloud for it to reach me.
Still, I went through the motions of all the practices. In each practice I dreaded one particular song. It starts out from the view of a shepherd who sees the star, hears the angels and witnesses the Christ child while he was still a boy. In a later verse the Shepherd says,
Now, I've been having a hard time not seeing my path as clearly as I'd like. I've been really even questioning if there was a plan for us some days. As a result, I had the annoying and inappropriate habit of always falling apart into complete despair exactly at time we sang, "Do not despair, your star is still there." On one occassion I had to excuse myself to the women's room to commence a big baby breakdown: "I don't see the star!"
As mentioned before, I'm guilty of thinking that just because I don't know or understand the plan for my life, that there isn't one.
On Wednesday I was at the church practicing for a small group number to start off the program. The Bishop was there and, in a pathetically resigned, "what-the-heck" way, I decided to ask him for a blessing, which he willingly did. It was remarkable how different I felt afterward. Basically I was reminded there was a plan, and received a great deal of understanding of why things are going the way they are. Not a lot of understanding of where they were going, but some direction at least. But beyond the words, I just left feeling fine about the state of things for the first time in a long time, even though they seem so uncertain still.
Just to know there was a plan, I could be okay not knowing really what it was.
So I spent the remainder of the week practicing Christmas songs, doing our mom's group Christmas music class, enjoying the group cookie exchange and giving away cookie plates to my VTees, visiting with friends, motherly nursing a bad case of poison oak on Ben, reading with Sophie, laughing at and with Noah, making Lucy giggle with kisses and generally feeling pretty good. And nothing really changed in my life, just a reminder that I'm on the Lord's radar. God's love is powerful stuff.
I have a lot of friends in limbo right now--financial, employment, relationship and fertility issues. One sweet friend of mine in a housing/financial limbo gave me this article, and if you are in any kind of limbo right now, I highly recommend it:
Our Unexpected Journey Toward the Promised Land
So I sat down in church today and thought for the first time that hey, all this practice has been for a Christmas program, maybe this would be a good time to get the Spirit of Christmas. In the meeting, President Bradford shared a quote that I instantly adopted as my life creed, a quote from President David O. McKay,
And as we sang and I listened to the narrative, I really felt wonderful. And because of this little reminder of the Lord's love this week, given through revelation, in a week filled with music, I was able to sing "Do not despair, your star is still there." --and really believe it.
Still, I went through the motions of all the practices. In each practice I dreaded one particular song. It starts out from the view of a shepherd who sees the star, hears the angels and witnesses the Christ child while he was still a boy. In a later verse the Shepherd says,
But life goes on, years beyond one brief night of my youth.
Time clouds my vision of truth.
And though I stumble, and fall,
I can hear someone call,
"Do not despair,
Your star is still there."
Now, I've been having a hard time not seeing my path as clearly as I'd like. I've been really even questioning if there was a plan for us some days. As a result, I had the annoying and inappropriate habit of always falling apart into complete despair exactly at time we sang, "Do not despair, your star is still there." On one occassion I had to excuse myself to the women's room to commence a big baby breakdown: "I don't see the star!"
As mentioned before, I'm guilty of thinking that just because I don't know or understand the plan for my life, that there isn't one.
On Wednesday I was at the church practicing for a small group number to start off the program. The Bishop was there and, in a pathetically resigned, "what-the-heck" way, I decided to ask him for a blessing, which he willingly did. It was remarkable how different I felt afterward. Basically I was reminded there was a plan, and received a great deal of understanding of why things are going the way they are. Not a lot of understanding of where they were going, but some direction at least. But beyond the words, I just left feeling fine about the state of things for the first time in a long time, even though they seem so uncertain still.
Just to know there was a plan, I could be okay not knowing really what it was.
So I spent the remainder of the week practicing Christmas songs, doing our mom's group Christmas music class, enjoying the group cookie exchange and giving away cookie plates to my VTees, visiting with friends, motherly nursing a bad case of poison oak on Ben, reading with Sophie, laughing at and with Noah, making Lucy giggle with kisses and generally feeling pretty good. And nothing really changed in my life, just a reminder that I'm on the Lord's radar. God's love is powerful stuff.
I have a lot of friends in limbo right now--financial, employment, relationship and fertility issues. One sweet friend of mine in a housing/financial limbo gave me this article, and if you are in any kind of limbo right now, I highly recommend it:
Our Unexpected Journey Toward the Promised Land
So I sat down in church today and thought for the first time that hey, all this practice has been for a Christmas program, maybe this would be a good time to get the Spirit of Christmas. In the meeting, President Bradford shared a quote that I instantly adopted as my life creed, a quote from President David O. McKay,
"Man's basic needs are love, music and revelation."
And as we sang and I listened to the narrative, I really felt wonderful. And because of this little reminder of the Lord's love this week, given through revelation, in a week filled with music, I was able to sing "Do not despair, your star is still there." --and really believe it.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Something to do instead of read a post from me
You may have noticed that I am late in posting and that I'm playing around with my blog skin. I did that yesterday in place of actually posting, then realized I had to go practice for the Christmas choir program and had used up all my time doing non important things relating to blog skins, meanwhile pretending it was Sabbath-worthy since it relates (ever-so-indirectly) to family history and my family journal.
Last week was ok, somewhat lame, but also we had a wonderful time at the Huntington Gardens on Thursday--an overcast, cool, green day. I'll post pics later in the week.
Our family is just in a funk, I guess. Lame, unblog-worthy issues, mainly. Not for public consumption. Although, I said something to Ben today as we were driving somewhere, and as it came out of my mouth, I wondered if it was a divine message to myself (through myself). Ben was complaining that we were going the wrong way because I was taking a different route he was unfamiliar with. I grumpily said to him:
"Just because you don't know where you're going does not mean you aren't going the right way."
I hope that's true.
So, instead of reading about the details of my week, watch this short video instead, and have your kids watch it (8+ probably). It's a helpful remedy for the holiday gimmee-gimees, and goes along with my previous post on consumption (thanks Cousin Lisa for the link!)
http://www.storyofstuff.com/
The fashion stuff and "planned obsolesence" segment is particularly interesting. It really leaves you not wanting to be a sucker.
My friend from the Netherlands is very surprised that sustainability and concern for the environment is a politicized issue in the US. She said that in Europe, taking care of the environment was a given as necessary thing and not appropriated by one political party. Well, I guess that's one blessing of being an avowed Independent!
Valerie
Last week was ok, somewhat lame, but also we had a wonderful time at the Huntington Gardens on Thursday--an overcast, cool, green day. I'll post pics later in the week.
Our family is just in a funk, I guess. Lame, unblog-worthy issues, mainly. Not for public consumption. Although, I said something to Ben today as we were driving somewhere, and as it came out of my mouth, I wondered if it was a divine message to myself (through myself). Ben was complaining that we were going the wrong way because I was taking a different route he was unfamiliar with. I grumpily said to him:
"Just because you don't know where you're going does not mean you aren't going the right way."
I hope that's true.
So, instead of reading about the details of my week, watch this short video instead, and have your kids watch it (8+ probably). It's a helpful remedy for the holiday gimmee-gimees, and goes along with my previous post on consumption (thanks Cousin Lisa for the link!)
http://www.storyofstuff.com/
The fashion stuff and "planned obsolesence" segment is particularly interesting. It really leaves you not wanting to be a sucker.
My friend from the Netherlands is very surprised that sustainability and concern for the environment is a politicized issue in the US. She said that in Europe, taking care of the environment was a given as necessary thing and not appropriated by one political party. Well, I guess that's one blessing of being an avowed Independent!
Valerie
Sunday, December 2, 2007
The Week in Review
Very tired this week, staying up too late pursuing my own interests. The one time I can use for such luxuries is the time I normally spend sleeping.
Rather uneventful week. David was working in NorCal Wed and Thurs, my mom got into town Wednesday, we went to Griffith Observatory again Wednesday (always amazing) and then to the Noah's ark exhibit at the Skirball for the Thursday Free day (advanced tickets required even for Free Thursdays, I highly recommend this place!)
The Skirball also had a new exhibit outside the children's place showing grains of rice representing people in various categories. Just a pile of rice on a paper with a label, and then another one. I want to come up with vivid, literary imagery to explain to you how interesting it was and how it made me feel, but my sleep-deprived fog is finding that part of my brain inaccessible. Instead, some plagiarism:
It was indeed amusing, surprising and depressing all at the same time. I was most depressed by the enormous pile of people who watched the 2006 finale of American Idol. Not because I have any personal beef with that show, but it just seemed to say something about something else. Not sure what those somethings were, though.
Sunday was busy with church, ward choir, a small vocal group rehearsal for Enrichment, Stake Choir rehearsal, then the Christmas Devotional concert. I wish I sang so much more often, but my voice isn't used to it and I'm out of practice. I can't wait until I can go back and study music more and get some real skills!
Kids are doing great -- loud and chaotic -- cute and wonderful...
Rather uneventful week. David was working in NorCal Wed and Thurs, my mom got into town Wednesday, we went to Griffith Observatory again Wednesday (always amazing) and then to the Noah's ark exhibit at the Skirball for the Thursday Free day (advanced tickets required even for Free Thursdays, I highly recommend this place!)
The Skirball also had a new exhibit outside the children's place showing grains of rice representing people in various categories. Just a pile of rice on a paper with a label, and then another one. I want to come up with vivid, literary imagery to explain to you how interesting it was and how it made me feel, but my sleep-deprived fog is finding that part of my brain inaccessible. Instead, some plagiarism:
Now in a month-long engagement, Of All the People in All the World will feature more than fifteen tons of rice-900 million grains total-equaling the population of the Americas-organized to bring local, national, and global statistics to life. Artists from the innovative British theater company Stan's Cafe will carefully weigh and pile the staple food to quantify a variety of facts, from the serious and sobering to the lighthearted. Each grain of rice represents one individual. From the few women ever elected to the U.S. Senate to the multitudes who eat at McDonald's daily to the Southland residents who walk to work, the statistics portrayed will create an evolving landscape of rice, as the artists dismantle old piles and measure out new ones, often in response to the artists' interactions with visitors.Shocking, playful, dismal, and hopeful in turn, Of All the People in All the World will inspire viewers to celebrate how everyone counts in our ever-expanding global society. (From http://www.skirball.org/)
It was indeed amusing, surprising and depressing all at the same time. I was most depressed by the enormous pile of people who watched the 2006 finale of American Idol. Not because I have any personal beef with that show, but it just seemed to say something about something else. Not sure what those somethings were, though.
Friday we started Christmas music class, which was fun, and I just loved the long-missed rain we got that day. We also went to Souplantation with my sweet Doris.
That day, Doris got me going with a wild hair to write another website, so I obsessed on it until 1 am both Friday and Saturday while Mom and David watched Lord of the Rings I and II. I'll debut it when it's ready--I love a project!
Sunday was busy with church, ward choir, a small vocal group rehearsal for Enrichment, Stake Choir rehearsal, then the Christmas Devotional concert. I wish I sang so much more often, but my voice isn't used to it and I'm out of practice. I can't wait until I can go back and study music more and get some real skills!
Rereading this I realized I said this was a rather uneventful week, but in hindsight, apparently not.
Kids are doing great -- loud and chaotic -- cute and wonderful...
...In this post do I sound like I am rambling as I drift off to sleep? It feels like that to me.
G'night.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Grumpy Thoughts on Consumption
Let's think a bit about consumption. By definition:
Because the markets are so dependent on consumption, we are actually encouraged by our president to show our love of country by spending, we will thereby show the markets that the retail sector is healthy so we can avoid a pitfall in consumer confidence (already on the decline with a new report out today).
In contrast, our prophet counsels us to save our money, to avoid debt, to put aside what we want today for what we may need tomorrow. To do without. Sister Beck said in October, "Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children, —more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all."
I don't think this is just about not going out and getting a job so you can have fancy stuff. I really do think it is about learning to value and treasure the things of most value that money can't buy.
But what would happen to our consumption and debt-driven economy if everyone obeyed the prophet and so unpatriotically started to save, get out of debt, and not buy, buy, buy? I don't know, as an daily Marketplace listener, I have the impression the house of cards may unravel faster, but individual families would be safer in the fallout.
Now I'm the last person in the world worthy to preach on financial matters, but I'm committed to make this holiday one heavy on what is truly good, but modest on the goods. I'd like for me and us to be seen by our political leaders and the world at large as more than ones who consume.
That said, maybe this is the rant of someone who is simply bitter that they don't have piles of money to consume with. Who can say?
Sincerely,
Judgy Judgerson III
- devour: eat immoderately
- serve oneself to
- spend extravagantly
- destroy completely
- use up
- engage fully
(And of course, another name for pulmonary tuberculosis: involving the lungs with progressive wasting of the body, it "consumes you from within.")
So, why is it we, as a body of people, are not deeply offended by our politicians and businesses referring to us human beings almost exclusively as consumers--ones who are fully engaged serving ourselves to devour, spend, destroy and use up?
So, quite by accident I didn't buy anything on "Black Friday" and "Cyber Monday" and I'm feeling like maybe this makes me single-handedly responsible for the impending recession. I've been thinking about my role as a consumer--one who consumes.
It's hard not to sound like a big prissy flag burner to say I feel uncomfortable with the completely unsustainable trajectory of our consumerism. In times of crisis, such as after the 9/11 attacks, we were given a priority edict from our political leaders to go out and buy and fly and start spending "normally." (read: heavily). Our economy is extremely dependent on heavy borrowing and heavy spending--the crazy ride on the markets right now is driven by debt-driven consumerism, holiday retail orgies, mortgages, student loans and oil consumption.Because the markets are so dependent on consumption, we are actually encouraged by our president to show our love of country by spending, we will thereby show the markets that the retail sector is healthy so we can avoid a pitfall in consumer confidence (already on the decline with a new report out today).
In contrast, our prophet counsels us to save our money, to avoid debt, to put aside what we want today for what we may need tomorrow. To do without. Sister Beck said in October, "Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children, —more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all."
I don't think this is just about not going out and getting a job so you can have fancy stuff. I really do think it is about learning to value and treasure the things of most value that money can't buy.
But what would happen to our consumption and debt-driven economy if everyone obeyed the prophet and so unpatriotically started to save, get out of debt, and not buy, buy, buy? I don't know, as an daily Marketplace listener, I have the impression the house of cards may unravel faster, but individual families would be safer in the fallout.
Now I'm the last person in the world worthy to preach on financial matters, but I'm committed to make this holiday one heavy on what is truly good, but modest on the goods. I'd like for me and us to be seen by our political leaders and the world at large as more than ones who consume.
That said, maybe this is the rant of someone who is simply bitter that they don't have piles of money to consume with. Who can say?
Sincerely,
Judgy Judgerson III
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Thanksgiving and Fall Cleaning
First of all, let me start with that picture I promised back from the Pilgrim Festival, now that it is has been excavated and found...
Me and my cute babies (Noah as a bumblebee)
Me and my cute babies (Noah as a bumblebee)
When I say that much of this week was spent in "Fall Cleaning," you are supposed to be impressed that I am dedicated to undertaking the old-fashioned rituals of seasonal changes in the household. Under no circumstances are you to construe that "Fall Cleaning" is one of only two times a year I actually really clean anything. And in particular, you would be amiss to assume that these frantic, disorganized efforts are not driven by the orderly seasonal changes but by the simple fact we usually have many guests and visitors for Easter and Thanksgiving, thus I am propelled from my more natural state of lax ennui into raging perfectionism.
You don't want to miss this, come by sometime and enjoy it, it's like observing metamorphosis in the wild.
So, in preparation for our Thanksgiving dinner of 17 people, I work hard making up for all that wasn't done in the past several months. (In my version of "Tortise & the Hare" the Hare is vindicated with a tie race.) We reorganized the bedrooms into the "girl" and "boy" rooms, completely got rid of most of Ben's stuff in an effort to "help him" keep his room tidier. Noah was moved in with Ben and Lucy's crib was moved in with Sophie. While David worked on Lucy's crib, Lucy took her nap in Noah's newly-set-up Bed, and she looked so tiny in it I had to get a pic.
We had a very nice Thanksgiving with the Mosses, the Lyons and the Hunters. The children had a great time, and it was kind of chaotic, but I think it went ok overall. The food turned out very yummy.
I usually feel all deflated and postpartumy each year after the big Thanksgiving production, but this year I didn't. This was either due to my conscious effort to avoid it, all the wonderful cleaning I would still have to show for it afterward, or perhaps due to the absence of Ned, who missed our Thanksgiving for the first time in 12 years. Maybe it was his fault all along, but probably just a coincedence. We missed you, Ned!
I did think upon my blessings this week, thinking particularly of manna--a constant, miraculous blessing of sustenance from the Lord. When you read the story, it seems so amazing and such a conspicuous show of God's hand--how grateful and happy the Israelites must have been under such constant providence!
But were they?
It is hard to be thankful for our manna, however miraculous, when your heart and mind are on the promised land. It is hard to be content with manna when you want to be sowing and reaping your own field. We are to eat our manna still with faith in our ultimate destination -- that land of milk and honey. We are to be thankful, content and humble in the fact that at times we must daily depend on the Lord sometimes for things we feel we should be able to do for ourselves.
Sometimes he actually does just give us a fish when we feel we are ready to go out and be fish for ourselves. To be thankful for the fish, and not resentful that the long-term plan is not in place--that is the task of today.
So, this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for manna, in all it's immediate, short-term sweetness, knowing it comes directly out of the hand of God. I know it is intended as transitional sustenance and a lesson in humility and faith, not as a replacement for the promised land itself.
Hope it was a great Thanksgiving for all.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
A Lesson on Spin
Our mom's group at Descanso on Monday(MEPAF: Moms of East Pasadena and Friends)
This week was super fun! Lucy started to really get walking, Ben did great with his schoolwork, Noah is always singing, and Sophie's reading is really taking off.
On Monday we had a wonderful time at Descanso gardens and later a great family night and played Bible Bingo and ate donuts. On Tuesday we had scouts and played at the park. On Wednesday David left to go to Central California for work and the kids and I enjoyed a relaxing day together. Ben and Sophie got up early on Thursday to practice before coming in to me while still in bed to sing "Love is Spoken Here" (in full three-verse, duet form) . Later that day we had our friend Andrew over, as his mom just had a new baby boy. Friday we had a fun, active music class before we went to lunch with our friends Doris and Natasha, then took our friends Becca, Autumn and Andrew over to the Church park to play until the pizza and the Sister missionaries arrived and we ate dinner in the church and played until almost bedtime.
Ben went with the Scouts overnight with his dad and had a wonderful time. Then, Saturday I worked on the house getting ready for Thanksgiving while Lucy and Noah napped. After Sophie swept the whole front yard, she sung to herself at the table while making a turkey craft and said, "Mom, you make the best bread," as she munched on some fresh from the oven. Uncle Mike came to stay late Saturday and came with us to church, where I taught Relief Society and really felt the Spirit as I bore my testimony about our ability to become an instrument in God's hands. Then we all came home and ate waffles and bacon and the kids did gratitude-related crafts.
I just wish everyone could have the perfect life I have.
Here's a picture of me
in my perfect life.
And, I guess I should also mention...
It took me six days to wash all the dishes that had piled up in my kitchen, due to the constant demands of schooling, training, disciplining, cleaning up more urgent messes, diapering and rediapering, my own distractibility and miscellaneous items like cleaning off a blue spiral-like sketch Noah put on his own face (in what I had thought was water-based marker). Why does my life involve so much poop!? (Answer, because Noah is only 60% potty trained).
My house is a complete disaster and I am totally stressed about getting it presentable for Thanksgiving. I am 10% done after a full week of effort and four days away.
I also yelled more than I would have liked this week, my cell phone died because someone spilled water on it, we all got a little bit of a cold, especially Lucy, who actually had rough breathing for a day or so. My dear friend Patti had her baby 5 weeks early and he's having difficulties, and I feel so much for her having gone through such a hard experience just 17 months ago. Much of the "relaxing time" spent with my kids I was face-down on the couch not feeling so good with a belly bug or something.
Then, when I asked my oldest children if they really felt "love is spoken here" in our home, I simultaneously got:
Sophie: No, I guess not really.
Ben: No, but it would be if you guys would be nicer.
Hilarious.
Thursday, I hadn't had time to shower since David was out of town, and my hair showed it. Noah looked at me lovingly and said, "Mommy, your hair looks ugly." A fact which couldn't be disputed.
Friday, he was simply a holy terror while I tried to teach music class. Then I triple booked my schedule, as I am wont to do, and was like a headless chicken most of the day.
Saturday Ben had so little sleep from camping, and had such a hard time coming down off the high of being with his dad, that he spent most of Saturday in bed moping, sometimes crying, and occassionally yelling at me. He seemed to also have a fever for part of the afternoon. Noah then commenced along the same moody, runny-nosed path until collapsing to sleep, so we couldn't go to the Elves Faire I wanted to check out.
But, I finished my goal of doing all the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, begun Monday at 8 a.m., --at 8 p.m. Saturday.
But the bread actually did turn out very good.
...So, there is a former marketing professional's short lesson on "spin." Look for it in a newspaper near you!
In other news, at the end of the week, a major fiscal crisis was miraculously diverted, and although my husband had to point out to me that the Lord had obviously answered our constant prayers in a very direct manner, I didn't realize it because it wasn't specifically what I'd been asking for and I was busy feeling cheated that Lord didn't care. So I was repentant and humbled and I was brought again to be amazed at the kindness of God. I have so, so much to be grateful for because of and in spite of everything. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving.
My anchor for the week:
27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
28 Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness.
Ether 12: 27-28
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Who doesn't have a blog these days?
So all my kids (except Lucy) now have a blog. Feel free to visit. I'm encouraging them to journal and thought friends and family may enjoy the updates. Sophie and Noah dictate, and Ben types until he's tired, and then he dictates.
Funny quote of the day. From Ben to Noah, who was carrying a pencil behind his ear:
"Cool, Noah! That's how business guys carry their pencils. Or scientists."
Sophie's: http://sophiesrainbow.blogspot.com/
Ben's: http://bentensblog.blogspot.com/
Noah's: http://ilikemyark.blogspot.com/
Funny quote of the day. From Ben to Noah, who was carrying a pencil behind his ear:
"Cool, Noah! That's how business guys carry their pencils. Or scientists."
Sophie's: http://sophiesrainbow.blogspot.com/
Ben's: http://bentensblog.blogspot.com/
Noah's: http://ilikemyark.blogspot.com/
Hope for the future...
I read a fascinating article today in the New York Times summarizing two studies showing that behavioral problems in young children do not indicate future lack of success. It also confirms what I have suspected--that ADHD is a delay in development rather than a deficit in development. This would be in line with my own experience, where I just grew out of my crazy, hyper and anti-social behaviors by about Jr. High and turned out (almost) normal.
Still can't pay attention, but think that's related to other things. In general I can socialize and learn better than ever.
I highly recommend this read to anyone who has or works with kids:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/13/health/13kids.html?em&ex=1195102800&en=10574fa94fad2575&ei=5087%0A
As a sidenote, it is very interesting to analyze one's life in terms of the percentage of current life events and experiences one is willing to discuss on a public blog. I am running at about 50% right now. Clearly our successes and joys are for the public eye, and our failures and frustrations for the closet. Or in my case, the other journal. :)
Anyway, prayers are always welcome...
Still can't pay attention, but think that's related to other things. In general I can socialize and learn better than ever.
I highly recommend this read to anyone who has or works with kids:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/13/health/13kids.html?em&ex=1195102800&en=10574fa94fad2575&ei=5087%0A
As a sidenote, it is very interesting to analyze one's life in terms of the percentage of current life events and experiences one is willing to discuss on a public blog. I am running at about 50% right now. Clearly our successes and joys are for the public eye, and our failures and frustrations for the closet. Or in my case, the other journal. :)
Anyway, prayers are always welcome...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Teeth Pics, Walking Babies and the Daily Drill
Here are the pics providing evidence of my last report. Here is the long-awaited Sophie Halloween pic as Sleeping Beauty, along with her friend Ella the witch and Autumn the angel, then with brother, the very in-character pirate, below:
Here is a pathetic confession, since David had the camera on his business trip, I didn't get pics of Lucy or Noah on Halloween, but will recreate them before next post. Noah was Sully again from Monsters, Inc., since I had that costume and could throw it on easy, and Lucy was a cow for the same reason. So, I'll throw those back on sometime this week for your viewing pleasure. How half-baked is that parenting?
So, on to the teeth:
Sophie's first lost tooth!
I had falsely reported four teeth on top, but is really two plus a half plus a fourth of a tooth--so 2.75 teeth in four slots.
Aren't my girls gorgeous?
Here is a pathetic confession, since David had the camera on his business trip, I didn't get pics of Lucy or Noah on Halloween, but will recreate them before next post. Noah was Sully again from Monsters, Inc., since I had that costume and could throw it on easy, and Lucy was a cow for the same reason. So, I'll throw those back on sometime this week for your viewing pleasure. How half-baked is that parenting?
So, on to the teeth:
Sophie's first lost tooth!
I had falsely reported four teeth on top, but is really two plus a half plus a fourth of a tooth--so 2.75 teeth in four slots.Aren't my girls gorgeous?
In just the past two days Lucy has shown a preference for walking over crawling most of the time--it is so exciting!
Ben's homeschooling has been going very well, this week has been very eventful, as he moved to fourth grade curriculum in all subjects on Time4Learning.com and seems much more interested and challenged. We went to the zoo on Monday and the free day at the Natural History Museum on Tuesday, both of which demanded a great deal of field journal entries for Ben. On Wednesday we went to the library and got many books, mainly Thanksgiving books and Beverly Cleary. Already Ben is getting back to his more excited, positive self, which is great to see. Sophie is also enjoying the field trips and doing her own field journal. They are both excited about piano lessons (with mom) and are practicing without any fuss (for now, not sure how long that will continue).
Here is a cave painting Ben did for a Time4Learning Social Studies unit on ancient civilizations--check the red and black mastedon and giant yellow flying birds:
I definitely feel great about our choice to bring Ben back home.
Friday after the little toddler music class we have for the mom's group, we went to the Pilgrim's Place Thanksgiving fair in Claremont. Five other families from the mom's group went. It was so, so fun!! Everyone had their face painted (except Lucy, who I figured wouldn't hold still, as it was already hard for Noah), we ate popcorn and cotton candy and sno cones, we rode on the Mayflower and the Massasoit Train, we listened to Indian drums, watched a bit of the Thanksgiving play, and did lots of fun crafts, like the "Glue In" which involves lots of random items the Pilgrims Place community residents collect throughout the year, a cardboard mat, and a lot of glue and creativity. This one is Ben's:
Pilgrims Place is a neighborhood entirely of elderly people who have served the Christian faith as ministers, teachers or missionaries for at least 20 years full-time. The place had a great spirit about it. Lots of really good folks there. We're losing a good generation with the loss of that era.
We did a Polaroid/Frame craft, which made up for the fact I forgot my camera. This one is Sophie and our friend Ella, both in butterfly makeup:
And Ben, who asked for pirate makeup to relive the glory days of Halloween:
I am still trying to find the cute one of me holding Lucy and Noah (with bumblebee face paint). It's got to be around here somewhere.
Saturday was Ward Breakfast, practice for the primary program, and our great friend Addy's baptism! That was so fun to see. David and I went out on a date that night, just to dinner and some wandering around Vromans book store looking around.
And now for an update on David. Here he is reading the New Yorker as he is wont to do. That about covers it for facts I am allowed to disclose about David.
The primary program was today and they did a great job. I really felt the Spirit and was proud of all the work the children had put into it. I am very grateful for the amazingly great teachers and leaders our kids have been blessed with in Primary.
Ben's homeschooling has been going very well, this week has been very eventful, as he moved to fourth grade curriculum in all subjects on Time4Learning.com and seems much more interested and challenged. We went to the zoo on Monday and the free day at the Natural History Museum on Tuesday, both of which demanded a great deal of field journal entries for Ben. On Wednesday we went to the library and got many books, mainly Thanksgiving books and Beverly Cleary. Already Ben is getting back to his more excited, positive self, which is great to see. Sophie is also enjoying the field trips and doing her own field journal. They are both excited about piano lessons (with mom) and are practicing without any fuss (for now, not sure how long that will continue).
Here is a cave painting Ben did for a Time4Learning Social Studies unit on ancient civilizations--check the red and black mastedon and giant yellow flying birds:
I definitely feel great about our choice to bring Ben back home.Friday after the little toddler music class we have for the mom's group, we went to the Pilgrim's Place Thanksgiving fair in Claremont. Five other families from the mom's group went. It was so, so fun!! Everyone had their face painted (except Lucy, who I figured wouldn't hold still, as it was already hard for Noah), we ate popcorn and cotton candy and sno cones, we rode on the Mayflower and the Massasoit Train, we listened to Indian drums, watched a bit of the Thanksgiving play, and did lots of fun crafts, like the "Glue In" which involves lots of random items the Pilgrims Place community residents collect throughout the year, a cardboard mat, and a lot of glue and creativity. This one is Ben's:
Pilgrims Place is a neighborhood entirely of elderly people who have served the Christian faith as ministers, teachers or missionaries for at least 20 years full-time. The place had a great spirit about it. Lots of really good folks there. We're losing a good generation with the loss of that era.
We did a Polaroid/Frame craft, which made up for the fact I forgot my camera. This one is Sophie and our friend Ella, both in butterfly makeup:
And Ben, who asked for pirate makeup to relive the glory days of Halloween:
I am still trying to find the cute one of me holding Lucy and Noah (with bumblebee face paint). It's got to be around here somewhere.
Saturday was Ward Breakfast, practice for the primary program, and our great friend Addy's baptism! That was so fun to see. David and I went out on a date that night, just to dinner and some wandering around Vromans book store looking around.
And now for an update on David. Here he is reading the New Yorker as he is wont to do. That about covers it for facts I am allowed to disclose about David.
The primary program was today and they did a great job. I really felt the Spirit and was proud of all the work the children had put into it. I am very grateful for the amazingly great teachers and leaders our kids have been blessed with in Primary.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Halloween, new and old teeth
Our little Sophie is growing up--she lost her first tooth the night before last. She was worried going to bed that it would come out while she was sleeping and she would lose it, and I reassured her that I don't remember any of my teeth coming out while I was sleeping (as they usually came out from all the tinkering). But, of course it did come out while she was sleeping, and she excitedly came in to give it to me at about 3 a.m.
It was so small! A little bottom center tooth, the same size as the tiny first ones Lucy got in on the bottom. Sophie just looks like such a big girl--so tall to me. It is such a fun milestone.
At the same time, Lucy had those two top teeth coming in last week hastily followed up with the other two top teeth on either side this week--which made for some miserable, snotty nights. She looks like Cindy Lou Who from Dr. Seuss, but with less hair.
David was out of town this week only through Wednesday night, just long enough for me to really appreciate that he takes kids to school and does the laundry and helps me with the zone defense of child rearing. So, as he was flying in about bedtime on Halloween, we left the Sierra Madre Halloween festivities kind of quickly to go get him, but had more than enough candy anyhow.
And maybe all that candy will explain the fact that my boys have been moody and crazy all week. Noah has seriously been on a tirade of moodswings, violence, spite-driven defiance and throwing things, alternating with lethargy and exhausted crying--either it was the leftover virus from the fever from last week or all that sugar, since I wasn't the candy nazi I usually am this year. Ben has had a lot of stress with school and being sick last week, but that still wouldn't explain the mega hyperactivity also alternating with mopey lethargy and sleepiness. Again, leftover virus and candy is my guess.
On second thought, maybe all that candy in the house that would explain my own weepy craziness alternating with mopey lethargy and sleepiness....hm.
Well, at least the candy is out of the house now.
The kids have already started their turkey crafts--the construction paper Frankensteins, pumpkins and ghosts that have been adorning every open wall space in our house are starting to be replaced with construction paper Thanksgiving art. The Holidays are upon us!
It was so small! A little bottom center tooth, the same size as the tiny first ones Lucy got in on the bottom. Sophie just looks like such a big girl--so tall to me. It is such a fun milestone.
At the same time, Lucy had those two top teeth coming in last week hastily followed up with the other two top teeth on either side this week--which made for some miserable, snotty nights. She looks like Cindy Lou Who from Dr. Seuss, but with less hair.
David was out of town this week only through Wednesday night, just long enough for me to really appreciate that he takes kids to school and does the laundry and helps me with the zone defense of child rearing. So, as he was flying in about bedtime on Halloween, we left the Sierra Madre Halloween festivities kind of quickly to go get him, but had more than enough candy anyhow.
And maybe all that candy will explain the fact that my boys have been moody and crazy all week. Noah has seriously been on a tirade of moodswings, violence, spite-driven defiance and throwing things, alternating with lethargy and exhausted crying--either it was the leftover virus from the fever from last week or all that sugar, since I wasn't the candy nazi I usually am this year. Ben has had a lot of stress with school and being sick last week, but that still wouldn't explain the mega hyperactivity also alternating with mopey lethargy and sleepiness. Again, leftover virus and candy is my guess.
On second thought, maybe all that candy in the house that would explain my own weepy craziness alternating with mopey lethargy and sleepiness....hm.
Well, at least the candy is out of the house now.
The kids have already started their turkey crafts--the construction paper Frankensteins, pumpkins and ghosts that have been adorning every open wall space in our house are starting to be replaced with construction paper Thanksgiving art. The Holidays are upon us!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Noah's B-Day & Trunk-or-Treat
Noah missed the Trunk or Treat last night due to a 104 temp (Lucy's was 103). He was happy to get the candy Sophie picked up for him and has been sneaking it all day (all of them are master sneakers of candy today), so apparently the candy made up for the missing out on the party.
Ben and Sophie had a ball at the trunk or treat--My Sophie pics will have to come next time, as someone else snapped those. She was Cinderella. She decided last-minute by choosing out of her plethora of costumes in her dress-up box, but looked way cute as usual. Ben was a great looking pirate. You can't see it well, but he has a way-tough winged sword tattoo on his chest.
This was a night photo, so it looks all crazy--but spooky! We did our trunk for the trunk or treat into a big ghost--the car version of the lazy-parents' Halloween costume--throw a sheet on it!
Lucy is going through the very snotty process of getting her two top front teeth, bringing the teeth total to four. She walks independently a few steps each day but it is not yet her primary mode of getting places, although she is very, very proud of herself when she stands on her own and shuffles a few steps. She has been sick for a week with what appears to be two different illnesses, including coughing and fever (although the fires may have contributed to the coughing. She had to stay home from church today (Thanks to Sis. Wright for bringing home all my kids!)
Noah is officially three! Here is a rare glimpse of all of my children happy and uncomplaining. Noah was particularly excited about his new Hot Wheels, particularly a very exciting semi.
Oh, you wanted a closer look at that amazing cake? Ok! Yes, it is shaped like an 8 and he was 3, but it's fine because it's a racetrack, which 3 year olds love. It was just two rounds with Oreo pavement, tic tac lines, and coconut "grass" that I used on on the pan around it as well.
I didn't realize the kids would actually want to play on the cake, so in the end it was kind of trashed, but its purpose was served.
We celebrated Noah's birthday at the Noah's Ark Exhibit at the Skirball museum. It was amazing--the best children's museum I've been to. I can't recommend it highly enough--we'll be going back there soon. Just tonight Noah was telling me the story about the Ark--it really made an impression!
Oh, I also met with Ben's principal, who, after seeming entirely at a loss about what to do, recommended a part-time school, part-time homeschool situation (weird that my husband and the principal came around to the idea of homeschooling again before I did). We'll give it a shot. I have a great book about discovering a child's learning style that has been a huge insight into Ben--being free to do the hands-on field trips again will be so helpful. I love them too.
I sometimes worry too much about how I'll be perceived going back to HSing yet again, but I'm committed to doing the right thing for Ben and following the Lord's guidance, so I really can't stress about everyone's opinions. Anyone who objects is free to come live my life and I'll come mess up yours--we all think we'd do a better job running others' lives than we do our own, don't we? I'm guilty of that sometimes but am determined to cut it out--people do the best they can and are entitled to inspiration for their own kids. We need to just be there for each other regardless of our differences and quit with the judgments. But, until that time, I'll just ignore the raised eyebrows and try to keep my own under check.
David's off in Florida for work until Wed or Friday. Wish me luck...
Ben and Sophie had a ball at the trunk or treat--My Sophie pics will have to come next time, as someone else snapped those. She was Cinderella. She decided last-minute by choosing out of her plethora of costumes in her dress-up box, but looked way cute as usual. Ben was a great looking pirate. You can't see it well, but he has a way-tough winged sword tattoo on his chest.
This was a night photo, so it looks all crazy--but spooky! We did our trunk for the trunk or treat into a big ghost--the car version of the lazy-parents' Halloween costume--throw a sheet on it!
Lucy is going through the very snotty process of getting her two top front teeth, bringing the teeth total to four. She walks independently a few steps each day but it is not yet her primary mode of getting places, although she is very, very proud of herself when she stands on her own and shuffles a few steps. She has been sick for a week with what appears to be two different illnesses, including coughing and fever (although the fires may have contributed to the coughing. She had to stay home from church today (Thanks to Sis. Wright for bringing home all my kids!)
Noah is officially three! Here is a rare glimpse of all of my children happy and uncomplaining. Noah was particularly excited about his new Hot Wheels, particularly a very exciting semi.
Oh, you wanted a closer look at that amazing cake? Ok! Yes, it is shaped like an 8 and he was 3, but it's fine because it's a racetrack, which 3 year olds love. It was just two rounds with Oreo pavement, tic tac lines, and coconut "grass" that I used on on the pan around it as well. 
I didn't realize the kids would actually want to play on the cake, so in the end it was kind of trashed, but its purpose was served.We celebrated Noah's birthday at the Noah's Ark Exhibit at the Skirball museum. It was amazing--the best children's museum I've been to. I can't recommend it highly enough--we'll be going back there soon. Just tonight Noah was telling me the story about the Ark--it really made an impression!
Oh, I also met with Ben's principal, who, after seeming entirely at a loss about what to do, recommended a part-time school, part-time homeschool situation (weird that my husband and the principal came around to the idea of homeschooling again before I did). We'll give it a shot. I have a great book about discovering a child's learning style that has been a huge insight into Ben--being free to do the hands-on field trips again will be so helpful. I love them too.
I sometimes worry too much about how I'll be perceived going back to HSing yet again, but I'm committed to doing the right thing for Ben and following the Lord's guidance, so I really can't stress about everyone's opinions. Anyone who objects is free to come live my life and I'll come mess up yours--we all think we'd do a better job running others' lives than we do our own, don't we? I'm guilty of that sometimes but am determined to cut it out--people do the best they can and are entitled to inspiration for their own kids. We need to just be there for each other regardless of our differences and quit with the judgments. But, until that time, I'll just ignore the raised eyebrows and try to keep my own under check.
David's off in Florida for work until Wed or Friday. Wish me luck...
Sunday, October 21, 2007
BOO from Noah (and the school honeymoon is over)
Here October is almost over--how did that happen? For that matter, how did Noah already come up to his 3rd birthday? It's on Wednesday of this week and he's picked out eating at Souplantation and having a racetrack cake from familyfun.com--wish me luck on that, it looks tricky. We're going to Deb's park (an Audobon Society nature park closer to downtown) with our mom's group and for that I'll just take cupcakes. He is so sweet. In the car yesterday he went off on a very animated monologue about Halloween:
Noah: (interrupting Sophie talking about her costume for Halloween) Mommy! Mommy! Mine halloween costume! Mine have patch on mine eye. Mine have patch on my eye!"
Mom: You want to be a pirate for Halloween?
Noah: Yes! Mine be pirate and have eye patch. Mine hide in bushes and BOO! Mine scare daddy!
I can't do it justice--it was so funny.
This week is birthday and trunk or treat Halloween celebration at the church, so we’ll be gearing up for that—Ben wants to be a skeleton pirate, Sophie wants to be a puppy, and we have a great old cow costume for Lucy that all the kids have worn.
The potty training thing is moving a long nicely. We’re about 50% on the #2 and maybe 90% on the #1. It feels good to see that rite of passage almost behind me. Three down, only one to go!
David is gearing up to go to Florida in a week for work. He’ll be gone for Halloween, but that shouldn’t be too big of deal. He just got back from scout weekend where they shot guns in the desert. Excellent pastime for teenage boys, don’t you think? David brought home a picture of a pumpkin he had shot a hole in. It was very impressive.
Sophie is doing well at school, but seems to have been taken down from green to yellow a bit more often this week (using the pervasive stoplight disciplinary system), but I'm not clear on why yet, although she freely explains it, it makes no sense, I really have no idea what she's saying. She has some good friends and seems to get along very well with people at school. She has been so easy at home, and does homework and chores almost completely without help, and she's reading so much better--the progress is really clear each week. We work with her at home on the flashcards and super-boring readers (they guarantee they bring fluency, if the kid can stay awake), but I'm excited to see her get closer to being a solid reader when the world can be opened up to her. She is easy going, but I see that down deep she has strong emotional needs, and she thrives on just being hugged and held, so I'm trying to make sure I do that even if she's not screaming for the attention.
Lucy is under the weather today, I think because she has a top tooth coming in. She is SO runny, but it is all clear, and she just seems tired and grumpy. However, she's been sleeping through the night for three nights, so I'm a much happier person. She has taken a step or two independently since last week, but still prefers something to steady her. At the park, she will climb up the stairs on the equipment, get to the top of the slide, turn her self around and back down the slide feet first until she slides. Because she looks like a 6 month old, this is very alarming to mothers around who are looking frantically for the neglectful mother of this infant as she climbs up there.
I’ve taken her little walking toy to push at the park and she can go quite a long way with it. Also, she shows remarkable judgment and restraint for a young toddler and has been completely able to go up and down the stairs without falling down them for over a month. In fact, she never even tried the stairs until she was capable of going up and down without doing it safely. Coming down, she is simply crawling backward, but she does it so fast she almost looks like she's sliding down. She's still nursing about 5x a day, along with three meals and a few snacks, but her weight is still just over 15.5 lbs.
Benjamin's school issues have gotten much worse. He is miserable and crying almost every day, he gets in trouble every day, kids ridicule him every day. He isn't learning and is having trouble absorbing information in a group setting, especially in math, which he actually is pretty skilled in but I've seen first hand that it has to be taught him in a very specific way (and he has to be refocused every 30 seconds). Since medication has not proven fruitful, we just need to work out strategies for making him 1) learn and 2) be happy. Probably not in that order.
Although we saw this happen last year, having him in the classroom has really shown that he does have significant differences that kids can pick up on instantly, he seems to be unable to carry on a normal conversation with a child, although he can carry on regular adult conversations with adults all the time. He reacts with strong emotions to regular daily requirements even more so in a group environment. He seems overly stimulated by the large amounts of kids and people, the classroom, and the intensity of the schedule required by daily school life.
He is becoming more negative and irritable and even has new ticks starting to emerge. Problems that I was happily seeing disappear in the summer that I told myself he must be growing out of have started back up, which I assume is due to stress. He is very sad to see everyone playing and having fun, and feels lonely because they do not want to interact with him, he doesn't know why. He doesn't know how to interact with them and does so poorly or awkwardly, but he doesn't see that. He doesn't respond to negative social feedback by changing his behavior, but feels that it's others' problem. Even in the social skills group training class, the other socially unadjusted kids didn't respond well to him either. If people don’t like how he’s acting, he will think of a million different ways to avoid the problem besides acting differently.
He really has encountered this kind of problem since he was very young. Every now and then he'll meet a single kid at the park (usually younger, but not always) and they'll get along famously, but if it's more than one kid, or just not a very flexible kid, it usually doesn't go well. We work on social behaviors at home, but we've been working on the same things for literally 4 years, and if he doesn't understand the social rule, even if it gets him bad results to break it, he won't learn it. His response to the negative feedback is to escalate his behavior to try to force acceptance somehow, or avoid the situation entirely, so, on the school playground for instance, his solution is to just beg his teacher to let him not have to go outside, but to let him do work for her in the classroom.
So, I met with his teacher yesterday and asked for her candor and we had a nice open talk. She does have to juggle the needs of the class and Benjamin's needs as separate entities, all day. He has outbursts, and once even pushed her. Although she has other kids with behavior problems Ben is in a league unto himself, markedly different. He won't do his work without constant direction. Does great if she’s with him one on one, completely derails the class environment without that.
She is concerned about the kids' reaction to him and said that she tries techniques to model kindness, point out good things about him, and ask people to befriend him. She said one little girl said she'd tried to be his friend, but it just didn't work and he talked crazy. I asked her point blank if he could succeed (ie., be happy and learn) in the current environment (in her opinion and off the record). She didn't think so, and felt that many of the factors would only get worse over time (as class size increases, the work gets more difficult and kids become even less tolerant).
She said she'd gone to the special ed person and asked for advice (this is the one who accidentally sent me that email meant for the principal which said I needed to cut the apron strings and was overly worried about Ben), and that woman told her that they would try to get a full time aide in the class, just to be with Ben during school. This may help him focus on his work, and hopefully learn a little better, but would likely make worse the social situation (if that is possible), and it would really take Ben into the world of Special Ed, which is a box I really don't think is the best fit for him. The teacher said that since this school is a full inclusion school with special ed, "kids are used to having kids with full-time aides in their classroom." Of course, many of those kids are severely disabled, and it seems just weird to have Ben now in that category.
Here is the thing-- Ben can be successful, act relatively normal, learn, be happy and accomplish things without being considered freaky, and I see that all the time, but he apparently can't do that in a school classroom.
So we have the issues of happiness, social integration/training, learning and academics, controlling behavior, managing stress, and overstimulation. Solutions with the school address the learning/academics to some extent with an aide, but the other items are just out there and actually become much bigger problems in that environment.
So David and I have been thinking and praying about the problem, and I'm talking to friends who are teachers and who know Ben, and we’re just trying to know the answer. We will likely meet with the principal this week to see if she has anything helpful to add.
And to think the school people thought I was nuts to ask them to test him a prepare a plan—they all tested him one-on-one, and anyone who knows Ben knows that he THRIVES in working with an adults one-on-one—he is bright, engaged, social, has an amazing vocabulary, and is able to focus pretty well. They said I was over-reacting and chose to not give his teacher any of the testing input or anything that may bias her, and asked me to stay hands off for a while to see how it went. I did that, but I have no real satisfaction in being right.
The question is, must he be forced to learn how to get by in an environment which amplifies his weaknesses on the assumption he’ll figure it out the hard way, or can he be allowed to learn in an environment which builds on his strengths while systematically working on the weaknesses? To me, the answer is obvious, but I do get a lot of feedback from people saying “Make him do it, that’s the only way he’ll learn he’s got to act differently.” And if I was seeing some learning and not just shriveling of the soul, then maybe I’d agree. If this really is PDD and related to Aspergers, the fact is, he maybe can’t learn that, and could likely become gravely depressed very soon if put in a situation where he constantly fails.
So, there’s that. Send prayers this way!
Noah: (interrupting Sophie talking about her costume for Halloween) Mommy! Mommy! Mine halloween costume! Mine have patch on mine eye. Mine have patch on my eye!"
Mom: You want to be a pirate for Halloween?
Noah: Yes! Mine be pirate and have eye patch. Mine hide in bushes and BOO! Mine scare daddy!
I can't do it justice--it was so funny.
This week is birthday and trunk or treat Halloween celebration at the church, so we’ll be gearing up for that—Ben wants to be a skeleton pirate, Sophie wants to be a puppy, and we have a great old cow costume for Lucy that all the kids have worn.
The potty training thing is moving a long nicely. We’re about 50% on the #2 and maybe 90% on the #1. It feels good to see that rite of passage almost behind me. Three down, only one to go!
David is gearing up to go to Florida in a week for work. He’ll be gone for Halloween, but that shouldn’t be too big of deal. He just got back from scout weekend where they shot guns in the desert. Excellent pastime for teenage boys, don’t you think? David brought home a picture of a pumpkin he had shot a hole in. It was very impressive.
Sophie is doing well at school, but seems to have been taken down from green to yellow a bit more often this week (using the pervasive stoplight disciplinary system), but I'm not clear on why yet, although she freely explains it, it makes no sense, I really have no idea what she's saying. She has some good friends and seems to get along very well with people at school. She has been so easy at home, and does homework and chores almost completely without help, and she's reading so much better--the progress is really clear each week. We work with her at home on the flashcards and super-boring readers (they guarantee they bring fluency, if the kid can stay awake), but I'm excited to see her get closer to being a solid reader when the world can be opened up to her. She is easy going, but I see that down deep she has strong emotional needs, and she thrives on just being hugged and held, so I'm trying to make sure I do that even if she's not screaming for the attention.
Lucy is under the weather today, I think because she has a top tooth coming in. She is SO runny, but it is all clear, and she just seems tired and grumpy. However, she's been sleeping through the night for three nights, so I'm a much happier person. She has taken a step or two independently since last week, but still prefers something to steady her. At the park, she will climb up the stairs on the equipment, get to the top of the slide, turn her self around and back down the slide feet first until she slides. Because she looks like a 6 month old, this is very alarming to mothers around who are looking frantically for the neglectful mother of this infant as she climbs up there.
I’ve taken her little walking toy to push at the park and she can go quite a long way with it. Also, she shows remarkable judgment and restraint for a young toddler and has been completely able to go up and down the stairs without falling down them for over a month. In fact, she never even tried the stairs until she was capable of going up and down without doing it safely. Coming down, she is simply crawling backward, but she does it so fast she almost looks like she's sliding down. She's still nursing about 5x a day, along with three meals and a few snacks, but her weight is still just over 15.5 lbs.
Benjamin's school issues have gotten much worse. He is miserable and crying almost every day, he gets in trouble every day, kids ridicule him every day. He isn't learning and is having trouble absorbing information in a group setting, especially in math, which he actually is pretty skilled in but I've seen first hand that it has to be taught him in a very specific way (and he has to be refocused every 30 seconds). Since medication has not proven fruitful, we just need to work out strategies for making him 1) learn and 2) be happy. Probably not in that order.
Although we saw this happen last year, having him in the classroom has really shown that he does have significant differences that kids can pick up on instantly, he seems to be unable to carry on a normal conversation with a child, although he can carry on regular adult conversations with adults all the time. He reacts with strong emotions to regular daily requirements even more so in a group environment. He seems overly stimulated by the large amounts of kids and people, the classroom, and the intensity of the schedule required by daily school life.
He is becoming more negative and irritable and even has new ticks starting to emerge. Problems that I was happily seeing disappear in the summer that I told myself he must be growing out of have started back up, which I assume is due to stress. He is very sad to see everyone playing and having fun, and feels lonely because they do not want to interact with him, he doesn't know why. He doesn't know how to interact with them and does so poorly or awkwardly, but he doesn't see that. He doesn't respond to negative social feedback by changing his behavior, but feels that it's others' problem. Even in the social skills group training class, the other socially unadjusted kids didn't respond well to him either. If people don’t like how he’s acting, he will think of a million different ways to avoid the problem besides acting differently.
He really has encountered this kind of problem since he was very young. Every now and then he'll meet a single kid at the park (usually younger, but not always) and they'll get along famously, but if it's more than one kid, or just not a very flexible kid, it usually doesn't go well. We work on social behaviors at home, but we've been working on the same things for literally 4 years, and if he doesn't understand the social rule, even if it gets him bad results to break it, he won't learn it. His response to the negative feedback is to escalate his behavior to try to force acceptance somehow, or avoid the situation entirely, so, on the school playground for instance, his solution is to just beg his teacher to let him not have to go outside, but to let him do work for her in the classroom.
So, I met with his teacher yesterday and asked for her candor and we had a nice open talk. She does have to juggle the needs of the class and Benjamin's needs as separate entities, all day. He has outbursts, and once even pushed her. Although she has other kids with behavior problems Ben is in a league unto himself, markedly different. He won't do his work without constant direction. Does great if she’s with him one on one, completely derails the class environment without that.
She is concerned about the kids' reaction to him and said that she tries techniques to model kindness, point out good things about him, and ask people to befriend him. She said one little girl said she'd tried to be his friend, but it just didn't work and he talked crazy. I asked her point blank if he could succeed (ie., be happy and learn) in the current environment (in her opinion and off the record). She didn't think so, and felt that many of the factors would only get worse over time (as class size increases, the work gets more difficult and kids become even less tolerant).
She said she'd gone to the special ed person and asked for advice (this is the one who accidentally sent me that email meant for the principal which said I needed to cut the apron strings and was overly worried about Ben), and that woman told her that they would try to get a full time aide in the class, just to be with Ben during school. This may help him focus on his work, and hopefully learn a little better, but would likely make worse the social situation (if that is possible), and it would really take Ben into the world of Special Ed, which is a box I really don't think is the best fit for him. The teacher said that since this school is a full inclusion school with special ed, "kids are used to having kids with full-time aides in their classroom." Of course, many of those kids are severely disabled, and it seems just weird to have Ben now in that category.
Here is the thing-- Ben can be successful, act relatively normal, learn, be happy and accomplish things without being considered freaky, and I see that all the time, but he apparently can't do that in a school classroom.
So we have the issues of happiness, social integration/training, learning and academics, controlling behavior, managing stress, and overstimulation. Solutions with the school address the learning/academics to some extent with an aide, but the other items are just out there and actually become much bigger problems in that environment.
So David and I have been thinking and praying about the problem, and I'm talking to friends who are teachers and who know Ben, and we’re just trying to know the answer. We will likely meet with the principal this week to see if she has anything helpful to add.
And to think the school people thought I was nuts to ask them to test him a prepare a plan—they all tested him one-on-one, and anyone who knows Ben knows that he THRIVES in working with an adults one-on-one—he is bright, engaged, social, has an amazing vocabulary, and is able to focus pretty well. They said I was over-reacting and chose to not give his teacher any of the testing input or anything that may bias her, and asked me to stay hands off for a while to see how it went. I did that, but I have no real satisfaction in being right.
The question is, must he be forced to learn how to get by in an environment which amplifies his weaknesses on the assumption he’ll figure it out the hard way, or can he be allowed to learn in an environment which builds on his strengths while systematically working on the weaknesses? To me, the answer is obvious, but I do get a lot of feedback from people saying “Make him do it, that’s the only way he’ll learn he’s got to act differently.” And if I was seeing some learning and not just shriveling of the soul, then maybe I’d agree. If this really is PDD and related to Aspergers, the fact is, he maybe can’t learn that, and could likely become gravely depressed very soon if put in a situation where he constantly fails.
So, there’s that. Send prayers this way!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Incapacitating Freedom
So, my computer died, or at least it seems so, and it died in the process of me doing a belated back up. So, since I've lost all my emails, my addresses, my documents, my calendar, my bills and financial records, my web favorites, my pictures, and basically I have nothing to do, which is to say, don't know what I am supposed to be doing, so it's about the same thing.
So, please send me your email address if you happen to check this blog, along with any interesting files or websites I may have ever sent you. :)
The family is fine, just more of the same, Ben's not loving school, but does love scouts, Sophie is pretty easy going and enjoying her own musical extravaganzas in the bathtub and bedroom venues, and Noah is joyfully destroying everything in his path. Lucy has begun to take an interest in Noah's exploits and as his apprentice in destruction is beginning to show some promise. Still no more steps, though she can stand and squat and stand again hands-free.
Finally got my emergency kits into relative order, just a few small pieces missing (like the kid's food for those 72 hours), but closer than ever, and none too soon, since we have been reminded to do this for our entire lifetimes. May we never need to use them.
Love to all.
So, please send me your email address if you happen to check this blog, along with any interesting files or websites I may have ever sent you. :)
The family is fine, just more of the same, Ben's not loving school, but does love scouts, Sophie is pretty easy going and enjoying her own musical extravaganzas in the bathtub and bedroom venues, and Noah is joyfully destroying everything in his path. Lucy has begun to take an interest in Noah's exploits and as his apprentice in destruction is beginning to show some promise. Still no more steps, though she can stand and squat and stand again hands-free.
Finally got my emergency kits into relative order, just a few small pieces missing (like the kid's food for those 72 hours), but closer than ever, and none too soon, since we have been reminded to do this for our entire lifetimes. May we never need to use them.
Love to all.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
First Steps!
Last night, which was Saturday the 6th, Lucy took her first step by herself! It was just one, mind you, and only because she thought she was closer to me than she was, or she never would have taken such a crazy risk. She's a very careful girl. She looked awfully pleased with herself, though.
We had a great conference weekend, I worked on my emergency preparedness stuff and made a long list of mental "conference resolutions" as I always do. One is to journal every day, especially after reading scriptures, and do the family blog every week.
It was a great chance to be fed spiritually and physically, as we have a tradition of treating Conference like a holiday and just today we had bacon, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, etc. Anyway, I can't wait to get the transcript version online so I can reread the talks.
We had a great conference weekend, I worked on my emergency preparedness stuff and made a long list of mental "conference resolutions" as I always do. One is to journal every day, especially after reading scriptures, and do the family blog every week.
It was a great chance to be fed spiritually and physically, as we have a tradition of treating Conference like a holiday and just today we had bacon, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, etc. Anyway, I can't wait to get the transcript version online so I can reread the talks.
September!
Sophie & Ella: The Girl Band to Watch in '07
[This was really written on September 30: I'll be writing something, even if it is just a few sentences, each Sunday, so Mondays should be a good day to check in. ]
So, in September, school started and Sophie turned six! That’s the short version.
Ben’s teacher, Ms. Ribero (Portugese, pronounced Hi-bay-doo) is a first-year teacher. She seems reserved with parents, but confident with the kids. Ben likes her and is very attached—he gets upset when there is a substitute, which he has already had twice. He stays on green most days (on their behavior code of green, yellow and red), some yellow days. We didn’t give her any information up front, but gave them a chance to get to know each other. Unfortunately, other kids don't enjoy his company and make it very clear to him, and each day he has to listen to the kickball team captains fight over how he's NOT on their team. It breaks my heart.
That said, Ben’s behavior in general has been really quite good, and as a result, family life has improved quite a bit. He seems to have grown up a bit and understands more clearly the results of his actions and how they effect others. It is interesting to have a front row seat to watching this little boy grow up—and it’s an education. Sophie also likes school a lot and has two friends from our ward in her class, and many others from last year. She seems happy and is having fun, although her teacher, Ms. Tschopp, comes across as a total crab to me, Sophie says she’s not as nice as Ms. White, but she is still a nice teacher. She is given daily, rather than weekly homework, which is a pain. I feel good about the class in general, though.
Sophie turned 6 on Thursday, and we had a big fun Rock-n-roll party at the church park with dad’s mix tape, blow-up guitars and microphones, sunglasses, balloons and crafts. We went to dinner at Souplantation afterward. She had a great day, we all did. I really feel lucky to be her mom, she is really a sweet beautiful girl, and I love watching her grow up.
Sophie and Autumn getting ready to rock!
Noah's too cool for you.
Ben with rock-n-roll hair due to rock-n-roll hyperness
Noah started at the preschool at Sierra Madre Elementary also, but has since dropped out because he wasn’t fully potty trained. They were willing to be flexible and work with us, but we felt like he was having more problems there because he is just a little guy, probably too little to being starting 5-day preschool. I realized I never would have wanted Ben gone from me every morning at that age, and that I really was doing it out of being tired, but I really enjoy being with Noah and having special activities I do with him and Lucy during the mornings, like I used to with Ben and Sophie. So we’ve started a music class and a PCC Mommy & Me preschool-type class for families with more than one child on Thursday.
It is a drastic difference between all I was able to accomplish in the week Noah was in school and after he came back home—he is definitely at a very time-consuming age, that is, if I want to keep him and Lucy alive and keep my house from being trashed. He’s lucky he has that sweet face or I would have to lock him up all day. He is excited about turning three this month.
Noah looks square, but he's trouble.
Lucy is doing great, although she now has the virus we’ve all been passing around, and stayed home from church today with a fever. She’s still wearing 3-6 month clothes, but has these long legs poking out. She is starting to use a push-toy extensively, proudly giggling as she toddles behind it. At 16 months (on the 10th) she still nurses 5x a day, although she eats table food pretty well. I’m just doing all I can to try to get her to grow. I sense she still may have a belly problem, I’m just trying to work with it. She is very sweet and cuddly, I’ve really enjoyed this extended babyhood, although sometimes she still gets up in the night, which is not so much fun. David and I are fine, just working on callings and trying to determine a good long-term plan for our lives. We do feel like the LA area is home and are trying to navigate how we can have a normal future in this town. We’re just trusting the Lord will provide a way if he wants us here.
I did take a short mental-health break with to Utah two weekends ago, which was totally great. My mom had me stay with her and she pampered me with a quiet house, a cozy bed, wonderful healthy food, a foot rub from my aunt and mom gave me a great salt rub mixture for the bath. We had a really nice time together. I also got to spend a day with the Christensens and see my new nephew Cooper, Karen’s son. Their church meetings were so great and I just came back so relaxed and spiritually fed. That lasted until about the time the kids came home, but it was great while it lasted.
Also, I have been doing tons of genealogy and the family history bug has really bitten me. I submitted 40 names to the temple yesterday for youth baptisms, including two third-great grandmas (one mine, one David’s) and an 8th great grand uncle from 1698. For my readers who don’t know why I’m doing proxy baptisms for my ancestors, check out Paul’s words on the subject: 1 Cor 15:29 and http://www.lds.org/temples/purpose/0,11298,1897-1,00.html
I did take a short mental-health break with to Utah two weekends ago, which was totally great. My mom had me stay with her and she pampered me with a quiet house, a cozy bed, wonderful healthy food, a foot rub from my aunt and mom gave me a great salt rub mixture for the bath. We had a really nice time together. I also got to spend a day with the Christensens and see my new nephew Cooper, Karen’s son. Their church meetings were so great and I just came back so relaxed and spiritually fed. That lasted until about the time the kids came home, but it was great while it lasted.
Also, I have been doing tons of genealogy and the family history bug has really bitten me. I submitted 40 names to the temple yesterday for youth baptisms, including two third-great grandmas (one mine, one David’s) and an 8th great grand uncle from 1698. For my readers who don’t know why I’m doing proxy baptisms for my ancestors, check out Paul’s words on the subject: 1 Cor 15:29 and http://www.lds.org/temples/purpose/0,11298,1897-1,00.html
Wish me luck as I try to blog weekly for real!
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