I'm so glad the first frost came on a day that gave me a full Saturday to work. Seven hours of hard labor in the morning (part of which while being snowed on), and 6 hours of canning and preserving in the night, to crash happy and satisfied at 1:30 a.m. I picked all the apples, the grapes, the squash, the remaining tomatoes, the remaining corn, and replanted the basil and the mint in pots.
It was a happy, exhausting day. Pictures will come soon.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
How not to rant
Here are 14 very interesting comments about the government socializing our banks. See, we can't afford nationalized healthcare, we can't afford nationalized education (I'm not really for that anyway), but, it turns out, we CAN afford nationalized trillion-dollar banks. Who knew? So I'm just passing on various thoughts of other people, some of which I agree with. The last one was very interesting, and at first I didn't know if I agreed: Perhaps our country is too concerned about having a growth economy. We are obsessed with the notion of having more everything including money but, do we really need it? I think both our planet and ourselves would benefit from a zero growth economy. Perhaps now is a good time to learn to make that work and consider what we can do to reduce our patterns of consumption. To be ambitious to expand self development, learning, love, kindness, spiritual knowledge, connection to God, charity--now what kind of world would it be if we only sought to expand those things we can actually take with us? It made me think of the wonderful lyrics of "Simple Gifts," that teaches a principle this year's garden has really brought home to me: 'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free, 'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 'Twill be in the valley of love and delight. When true simplicity is gain'd, To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd, To turn, turn will be our delight, Till by turning, turning we come round right. Could it be that man's requirement to work the earth by the sweat of his brow demands just the things that get us back to God? Humility, work, diligence, and being subject to (and working with) cycles of nature. When true simplicity is gained, to bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed.
How did this happen?
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Tomorrow Sophie is the special student and Maw-in-law just gave her this picture for her poster. I've been lamenting how we haven't had a decent picture of our family taken in forever, because someone is always frowning, yelling, hiding, making faces, crying, looking WAY too fat, etc. But here we are--imperfect, yes, but all together and kind of cute.Thursday is the new Sunday
Well, at least it looks like that. Nothing new or exciting--love work, loving choir, kids are cute and wonderful, great husband. Still going to the gym, although the lunch hour doesn't offer speedy training, it feels good. The garden will end on Saturday, it's supposed to snow. We're going to pick all the grapes and juice them, the carrots, what's left of the corn, and, if it's not supposed to have a real freeze, we'll leave the squash out--otherwise they will all come in also.
I'll pick all the plants and leave them where they are, we'll clean out the coop and put all the litter on the garden. The hens gave 8 eggs today!!
I enjoyed conference and took to heart the counsel to be grateful and stop complaining. There is always a negative side, and yes we have stresses and problems, but the things that really matter are good. I think I'll be able to make adjustments to my work schedule and set up a more long-term solution.
Also, we can't believe it is happening so quickly--but there is already talk around the office--whisperings here and there and even a heavy hint dropped by the head honcho--that an offer from the Federal Defender may be coming. It will be contingent on getting the Bar thing worked out, but it looks like Heavenly Father is making good on all the promises and blessings we've been given in the past year.
And although many can't understand why David would want to defend criminals, it makes me proud to see him so forcefully defend the constitution and the equal access to justice that this country was founded on. A true test of our values is to see if we still adhere to them when it is not convenient. And, how better follow Christ than to follow his example as an advocate for sinners? He didn't just pay the price of the penitent, he paid for everything.
Anyway, we are very blessed. There is a lot of hope (and I no, I don't say that just because Obama is up by 6 points). Really, even as the world collapses around our ears, I've never felt like things were more on track for our family.
I'll pick all the plants and leave them where they are, we'll clean out the coop and put all the litter on the garden. The hens gave 8 eggs today!!
I enjoyed conference and took to heart the counsel to be grateful and stop complaining. There is always a negative side, and yes we have stresses and problems, but the things that really matter are good. I think I'll be able to make adjustments to my work schedule and set up a more long-term solution.
Also, we can't believe it is happening so quickly--but there is already talk around the office--whisperings here and there and even a heavy hint dropped by the head honcho--that an offer from the Federal Defender may be coming. It will be contingent on getting the Bar thing worked out, but it looks like Heavenly Father is making good on all the promises and blessings we've been given in the past year.
And although many can't understand why David would want to defend criminals, it makes me proud to see him so forcefully defend the constitution and the equal access to justice that this country was founded on. A true test of our values is to see if we still adhere to them when it is not convenient. And, how better follow Christ than to follow his example as an advocate for sinners? He didn't just pay the price of the penitent, he paid for everything.
Anyway, we are very blessed. There is a lot of hope (and I no, I don't say that just because Obama is up by 6 points). Really, even as the world collapses around our ears, I've never felt like things were more on track for our family.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Fall
It is so fun to start seeing the leaves turn everywhere and the mountains turn red. I have a tree in my backyard that has bright green, yellow, orange and red all mixed in on the same tree! I know, it's picture time.
The garden is shamefully overgrown, but it's at the end, so I don't feel so bad. The squash are all wrapping up, still lots of tomatoes coming on. After 5 days ignoring the garden I found zucchinis the size of small children. Sadly, some corn is going to waste, but I might make corn bread out of it. Some melons are still coming on too.
I canned 23 quarts of peaches on Monday night, was up until 1:30 a.m. with my mom (thanks, mom!). Thanks also to my aunt who got them for me from a farm in Provo. Diane, you were right, canning is way easier than I thought.
This weekend I will finally get to the plum jam, they're all picked and pitted and in the fridge. I picked my last fruit tree this week--the pears, and will be canning them also this weekend hopefully. David has planned to finally get the chicken coop run done (complete with top) so the free-range days will be over.
And guess what I found in the coop today!? Eggs! 9 or so. I thought they'd wait until spring, but apparently they'll do a bit already. Wow. The coop needs cleaning out and the nests especially, which are basically full of dried poop--it will be great for the garden, though.
I SO need a tractor.
Work is going great, we have monthly reviews there--crazy, huh?-- and everyone is happy with me. But every day it is more clear that me being gone all day is just not working for the family, Noah especially, but Lucy for sure and even Ben and Sophie have issues. And while tons of people work and say, "They'll get used to it." I think, "Do I want them to get used to the idea that I won't be here for them?"
I am praying very hard that my work will be flexible with me after the new year and let me work from home half time. I know my kids well and I don't have to wait for someone to have a breakdown or need therapy before I can see that it is not in their best interest to have this situation long term.
Still, I love the job, I need the money, and I hope to stay there a good long time, so let's hope they'll work with me.
Dave's pro bono job is going well, but he already is looking forward to the day that he'll have one job and not two. We are stressed about the bar and related matters, but it looks like they may be hiring next year, so if we can get the bar thing done, I think his chances are good. I can't go into much detail, but I really need your prayers here.
Singing like crazy--the concert is Oct 18th and I have practices two nights a week until then. I also started lessons with the conductor's wife--totally a coincidence, I'd asked her about taking me on before I even knew about the choir, she's a U of U voice professor. She was wonderful and supportive and seemed very hopeful that I could get my game back on. I go during lunch, so I have to skip the workout every other Thursday.
Things are good, but the house is totally falling to pieces. What a state things are in!
Well, off to bed!
The garden is shamefully overgrown, but it's at the end, so I don't feel so bad. The squash are all wrapping up, still lots of tomatoes coming on. After 5 days ignoring the garden I found zucchinis the size of small children. Sadly, some corn is going to waste, but I might make corn bread out of it. Some melons are still coming on too.
I canned 23 quarts of peaches on Monday night, was up until 1:30 a.m. with my mom (thanks, mom!). Thanks also to my aunt who got them for me from a farm in Provo. Diane, you were right, canning is way easier than I thought.
This weekend I will finally get to the plum jam, they're all picked and pitted and in the fridge. I picked my last fruit tree this week--the pears, and will be canning them also this weekend hopefully. David has planned to finally get the chicken coop run done (complete with top) so the free-range days will be over.
And guess what I found in the coop today!? Eggs! 9 or so. I thought they'd wait until spring, but apparently they'll do a bit already. Wow. The coop needs cleaning out and the nests especially, which are basically full of dried poop--it will be great for the garden, though.
I SO need a tractor.
Work is going great, we have monthly reviews there--crazy, huh?-- and everyone is happy with me. But every day it is more clear that me being gone all day is just not working for the family, Noah especially, but Lucy for sure and even Ben and Sophie have issues. And while tons of people work and say, "They'll get used to it." I think, "Do I want them to get used to the idea that I won't be here for them?"
I am praying very hard that my work will be flexible with me after the new year and let me work from home half time. I know my kids well and I don't have to wait for someone to have a breakdown or need therapy before I can see that it is not in their best interest to have this situation long term.
Still, I love the job, I need the money, and I hope to stay there a good long time, so let's hope they'll work with me.
Dave's pro bono job is going well, but he already is looking forward to the day that he'll have one job and not two. We are stressed about the bar and related matters, but it looks like they may be hiring next year, so if we can get the bar thing done, I think his chances are good. I can't go into much detail, but I really need your prayers here.
Singing like crazy--the concert is Oct 18th and I have practices two nights a week until then. I also started lessons with the conductor's wife--totally a coincidence, I'd asked her about taking me on before I even knew about the choir, she's a U of U voice professor. She was wonderful and supportive and seemed very hopeful that I could get my game back on. I go during lunch, so I have to skip the workout every other Thursday.
Things are good, but the house is totally falling to pieces. What a state things are in!
Well, off to bed!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Calling all tomato lovers in Utah!
I mistakenly planted literally 30+ cherry tomato plants--pale yellow, yellow pear, butter yellow, orange, super orange, and plenty of red. They are gorgeous and yummy. Please come to my house and pick and eat them whenever you want.
This morning, other people we know had no problem with WaMu accounts, so we are wondering if he was placed on fraud alert because he's spending money in four different states, some of which on the same day.
Still, it was freaky. And it is. But isn't it nice that with modern science and whatnot we can have our banks fail and not even feel it? Gosh, I'm sure everything is going to be just fine, aren't you?
This morning, other people we know had no problem with WaMu accounts, so we are wondering if he was placed on fraud alert because he's spending money in four different states, some of which on the same day.
Still, it was freaky. And it is. But isn't it nice that with modern science and whatnot we can have our banks fail and not even feel it? Gosh, I'm sure everything is going to be just fine, aren't you?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Well, here it is.
I decide to log on quick tonight and see the news on the bailout negotiations. I see an 8-minute-old article that says WaMu has failed and been seized by the government. I just put in David's paycheck today.
I go in and use bill pay to pay everything that needs to be paid.
I call David in Florida and tell him to get the rest out of the ATM.
The WaMu ATM says no.
The bank across the street's ATM says, "Bank routing number not found."
What is that old proverb?
"May you live in interesting times."
I go in and use bill pay to pay everything that needs to be paid.
I call David in Florida and tell him to get the rest out of the ATM.
The WaMu ATM says no.
The bank across the street's ATM says, "Bank routing number not found."
What is that old proverb?
"May you live in interesting times."
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Another epiphany and clarification II
First, I got a great email from my friend Lisa who challenged my "sins of the left" vs. "sins of the right" claim because the subtle yet dramatic sexualization of our culture and the decline of the family is worse than financial oppression. It took me a very long letter to my friend Lisa to realize exactly what I really thought on the matter.
(Sorry, my friend, but our relationship is sustained almost entirely by friendly political debate, which gives you the less-filtered email version!--oh, and I changed my preferences, FYI, so you can comment.)
I went on and on about all the abominations of the right (not the voters, the politicians) far beyond financial matters, and in my mind, more evil (think murder, violence, torture, secret abominations, hubris, grinding the faces of the poor and the destruction of millions of families at home and abroad). I'll spare you the details of that (for now). Note the fancy new quote widgets for context.
In the end, I realized that I sincerely believe the "sins of the left" -- let's just say it--abortion and same sex marriage -- simply do not have political solutions, only spiritual ones.
On the other hand, whether it is true or not, I believe that the "sins of the right" also involve murder of innocents and brutally attack the family, yet they still do have some room to be solved politically. So that's how I vote.
And a tangent: When it comes to the decline of the family, it's not just at the feet of same-sex marriage. It is at the feet of divorce, selfishness and the idea that marriage is passe. It's at the feet of people who think that the idea that a child needs a father and a mother is outdated, not a true psychological and spiritual need. People of every persuasion have come to feel that marriage is not a social entity at all, just a fuzzy happy place about love and whatnot.
The fact is, marriage, from a legal, economic, historical, social and spiritual standpoint, is an office with a function far beyond warm fuzzies and the couple itself. Because of that, the damage done on the same sex side is being handily matched by the heteros.
So, there's that. Oh, I love having a place I can talk crazy talk.
And the clarification: It was implied when I said that I knew civilation would collapse without the bailout that the flipside of that would be that I believed it would not collapse with the bailout. Not so. I think it's likely to collapse either way.
It just smells SO fishy. W, who has had no shame in making hasty and self-serving decisions in the name of urgency, has a record of this, and he is soon to be out of office. "Hurry! No questions! No time for checks and balances! Just hand me the money! Hurry, don't ask, don't wait, just hurry and give me what I want, or we will all be in breadlines by Christmas!"
Maybe he understands we will all be in breadlines by Christmas regardless, and he just wants to make sure he and his buddies get a little stashed away.
They are selling the taxpayer bad debt and telling us we'll get a great return on our investment. Put simply, if that were true, then the firms would keep those debts, wouldn't they?
The American people vastly oppose this--yet the leadership says it must and will happen. It's going to be interesting.
In other news, David's out of town and the crazy 16 hour days from day care drop off through very busy work and driving and pickups and dinner, and errands, and teaching students, and bedtime--it is seriously crazy. With this schedule, I have no license to rant to my blog or Lisa on these things, yet I also have no husband to rant to (when he's home, every night consists exchanges of, "OMGosh, did you HEAR what happened TODAY?!!", "Wow! NO, but did YOU hear . . . ")
If I don't get it out, I might head might explode. I've never been so riled up about politics in my life.
I'm off to bed to dream of crumbling economic infrastructure.
(Sorry, my friend, but our relationship is sustained almost entirely by friendly political debate, which gives you the less-filtered email version!--oh, and I changed my preferences, FYI, so you can comment.)
I went on and on about all the abominations of the right (not the voters, the politicians) far beyond financial matters, and in my mind, more evil (think murder, violence, torture, secret abominations, hubris, grinding the faces of the poor and the destruction of millions of families at home and abroad). I'll spare you the details of that (for now). Note the fancy new quote widgets for context.
In the end, I realized that I sincerely believe the "sins of the left" -- let's just say it--abortion and same sex marriage -- simply do not have political solutions, only spiritual ones.
On the other hand, whether it is true or not, I believe that the "sins of the right" also involve murder of innocents and brutally attack the family, yet they still do have some room to be solved politically. So that's how I vote.
And a tangent: When it comes to the decline of the family, it's not just at the feet of same-sex marriage. It is at the feet of divorce, selfishness and the idea that marriage is passe. It's at the feet of people who think that the idea that a child needs a father and a mother is outdated, not a true psychological and spiritual need. People of every persuasion have come to feel that marriage is not a social entity at all, just a fuzzy happy place about love and whatnot.
The fact is, marriage, from a legal, economic, historical, social and spiritual standpoint, is an office with a function far beyond warm fuzzies and the couple itself. Because of that, the damage done on the same sex side is being handily matched by the heteros.
So, there's that. Oh, I love having a place I can talk crazy talk.
And the clarification: It was implied when I said that I knew civilation would collapse without the bailout that the flipside of that would be that I believed it would not collapse with the bailout. Not so. I think it's likely to collapse either way.
It just smells SO fishy. W, who has had no shame in making hasty and self-serving decisions in the name of urgency, has a record of this, and he is soon to be out of office. "Hurry! No questions! No time for checks and balances! Just hand me the money! Hurry, don't ask, don't wait, just hurry and give me what I want, or we will all be in breadlines by Christmas!"
Maybe he understands we will all be in breadlines by Christmas regardless, and he just wants to make sure he and his buddies get a little stashed away.
They are selling the taxpayer bad debt and telling us we'll get a great return on our investment. Put simply, if that were true, then the firms would keep those debts, wouldn't they?
The American people vastly oppose this--yet the leadership says it must and will happen. It's going to be interesting.
In other news, David's out of town and the crazy 16 hour days from day care drop off through very busy work and driving and pickups and dinner, and errands, and teaching students, and bedtime--it is seriously crazy. With this schedule, I have no license to rant to my blog or Lisa on these things, yet I also have no husband to rant to (when he's home, every night consists exchanges of, "OMGosh, did you HEAR what happened TODAY?!!", "Wow! NO, but did YOU hear . . . ")
If I don't get it out, I might head might explode. I've never been so riled up about politics in my life.
I'm off to bed to dream of crumbling economic infrastructure.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Garden Bomb and a Clarification
I went out and picked for 90 minutes on Saturday and had LOADs of squash and tomatoes. It is insane. I took 30 lbs of squash to work today to give away. Crazy times. Oh, I also had very sore glutes.
Let the record show that as much as I hate this bailout, I do recognize that our economy will collapse without it. It's a sad day when you need to give millionaires piles of fake money while the people increasingly fall behind financially just to make sure that civilization doesn't collapse.
Granted, I am not in love with all Obama's answers. But you are smoking something if you really think McCain is offering anything but essentially a third Bush term. But hey, maybe that's your thing, and it's America.
It's hard to see any facts with all the smack talk, but if you're open to a quick rundown of issues with serious moral concern, read a bit here.
One last thought--I think I have finally put my finger on why I favor the sins of the left over the sins of the right. The sins of the left are in supporting and defending poor choices that result in horrible things. In the end, the people make the awful choices because they want to make them, and the left condones that, and those choices have large a societal impact. Yet, the sins of the right are to me more sinister, in orchestrating and allowing horrible things (financial, military, and corporate needs over health and safety of individuals) that sweepingly effect us without us ever having a choice in the matter at all.
It's a sad choice, but to me, the latter is a much greater evil, because it is conducted at the expense of the people and we can do nothing, and often most people know nothing about it. At least with the evils of the left, we can not make those bad choices ourselves, share our beliefs with others, and use the gospel to change hearts since the laws won't change behaviors.
I really can't apologize for political tangents. It's my blog for heaven's sake. Where else does one vent their political outrage?
I saw Ghost Town with David on Saturday night--totally funny and refreshingly unpredictable most of the time. Very good date movie.
DJ S-Wade, email me about your Tri plans, I am so psyched you are doing that! If I wasn't so mad at you for not visiting us when you came, I'd totally give you five.
Thanks everyone for your sweet comments, it's nice to know that even though I never socialize or talk to anyone, I secretly have friends.
I'll aim again for writing Sunday.
Let the record show that as much as I hate this bailout, I do recognize that our economy will collapse without it. It's a sad day when you need to give millionaires piles of fake money while the people increasingly fall behind financially just to make sure that civilization doesn't collapse.
Granted, I am not in love with all Obama's answers. But you are smoking something if you really think McCain is offering anything but essentially a third Bush term. But hey, maybe that's your thing, and it's America.
It's hard to see any facts with all the smack talk, but if you're open to a quick rundown of issues with serious moral concern, read a bit here.
One last thought--I think I have finally put my finger on why I favor the sins of the left over the sins of the right. The sins of the left are in supporting and defending poor choices that result in horrible things. In the end, the people make the awful choices because they want to make them, and the left condones that, and those choices have large a societal impact. Yet, the sins of the right are to me more sinister, in orchestrating and allowing horrible things (financial, military, and corporate needs over health and safety of individuals) that sweepingly effect us without us ever having a choice in the matter at all.
It's a sad choice, but to me, the latter is a much greater evil, because it is conducted at the expense of the people and we can do nothing, and often most people know nothing about it. At least with the evils of the left, we can not make those bad choices ourselves, share our beliefs with others, and use the gospel to change hearts since the laws won't change behaviors.
I really can't apologize for political tangents. It's my blog for heaven's sake. Where else does one vent their political outrage?
I saw Ghost Town with David on Saturday night--totally funny and refreshingly unpredictable most of the time. Very good date movie.
DJ S-Wade, email me about your Tri plans, I am so psyched you are doing that! If I wasn't so mad at you for not visiting us when you came, I'd totally give you five.
Thanks everyone for your sweet comments, it's nice to know that even though I never socialize or talk to anyone, I secretly have friends.
I'll aim again for writing Sunday.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Trying for weekly, really!
Well, this is last Sunday's post. It's been for the best that I haven't posted, because almost everything in my head consists of very angry political rants. So, let's stick to the family, shall we?
David is now working 20-30 hours a week pro bono for the Utah Federal Public Defender. They petitioned to allow him a waiver to practice with his CA license for a year (he takes the Utah Bar in February). He has been sworn in by the court, has clients, has a legal assistant, and has already made appearances. He is thrilled and absolutely loves it. The whole situation is rife with opportunities for the future, references and contacts, and he's getting to do things he always wanted to. Today he got to talk to a real live bank robber! I guess that type of thing will get less exciting with time.
Ben loves school. Can you believe it? After everything we've been through the last two years? He has a great, experienced teacher, he's learning so well. He already graduated from phonics and was put in the Latin class. He loves words. He loves the order and structure of the school also. I drive him and my friend Elaine's kids in on my way to work (It's just at the foot of Capitol Hill), so I get some brief alone time with him then we all listen to and discuss a Book of Mormon Chapter. It's a great way to start the day.
Sophie is loving school also, and always carefully refers to "my teacher" (never "grandma"). She seems happy and is reading well. We've been reading Little House lately again, and she's really enjoying it. She's at the school fair with Dad, Ben and Noah right now.
Noah LOVES his preschool, which is T and TH mornings. He goes to Elaine's MWF and Thursday afternoons and Kims on Tuesday. It is a lot of juggling for a little guy, and although he loves Lincoln (Elaine's son) he's still sad sometimes about missing his family. I miss him a lot too. I was home sick yesterday from work and we had a wonderful (although horizontal) one-on-one day together with lots of books, TV, baths, and snacks. I hope my time away from him full time isn't too long, he is at such a wonderful age.
Lucy also seems to like her daycare, a few houses down the street. She loves the dog "Sassy" and has been talking up a storm all of a sudden since she started. Although her main phrase, since she has a constant diaper rash, is "Bum huwt!" She is just a sweet thing. Again, she's so young, I hope to not miss much. We really only have 2 hours a day, and on Tuesdays with choir, I don't see her for 36 hours straight.
Work is going well. I got the company listed on the Utah 100 and had a press release widely picked up this last week. I have some things in the fire, but no leads yet (I'm supposed to get 110 a month!) Were starting to make headway there on the branding side, though.
Choir is great and hard and fun. Brett and I agree seeing each other weekly is "odd." But we don't always talk, which is fine. I just started studying with the associate choir director, Jane Fjeldsted, and she's just amazing, and seems to understand what I'm trying to do with my life, as it follows a lot of what she felt like she was supposed to do. She's a blessing. The music is very cool.
On that note, I have tickets for our fall concert, which is super intense and amazing, with songs in African, Philipino, Japanese, Tongan, Latin--maybe some English thrown in. But it isn't boring stuff, there are drums and live African dancers--like I said, very intense and cool. I need to sell at least 4 season tickets (4 shows--looking at you, mom and Paw/Maw-in-Law) and 10 others for October. Donations are also needed, as this choir, although it has a very famous, talented director, lives in the shadow of a certain other large choir, which will remain nameless, but happens to be funded by a multi-million dollar organization, so expectations for choirs are high, but our funding is not quite on par with that.
See the show details here. Ticket prices are cheaper if you get them from me--$15 for one show, I think $45 for season.
So, if you live here, please buy a ticket for my choir performance in October. I have just a week or two to sell them, so call me!
Life is pretty good, so very, very busy, but with good stuff. My house is a total mess, which stresses me. And if my garden was this neglected three months ago, nothing would have grown. But I'm still getting tons of corn, squash and tomatoes, now melons even. I know yield would have been even better if I'd had the time in the last month, but I'm fine with that.
Ok, I can't help myself, I just have to get it out. Silly Paylin was making me insane, retarded political banter was making me insane, and now this bailout is making me literally insane.
This huge bailout is handily giving the taxpayer all the irresponsible institutions' bad debt. They say it's for the people, that if the stock market collapses, the people will suffer. That is true to some extent, but it isn't really for the people at all. And we will suffer anyway, both long and short term. Because of this bail out, and because of what led to it.
They are now simply printing fake money, pushing off the bubble bursting, but only making it bigger when it happens. And while the financial industry touts free market and deregulation in good times, they are now part of the most overarching socialization of our economy that has ever been perpetrated on the American people. It may put off the disaster we earned from irresponsibility, but it won't avoid it.
Meanwhile, single working moms and unemployed dads are told they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and be responsible for themselves, yet if you are on wall street you can step right up to the free money, and the taxpayer will foot the bill.
I've never been so angry at our government in my life, and can't imagine that this sham is going to go over in the name of our protection--there should be riots in the streets--but wait--there's something good on TV . . .
David is now working 20-30 hours a week pro bono for the Utah Federal Public Defender. They petitioned to allow him a waiver to practice with his CA license for a year (he takes the Utah Bar in February). He has been sworn in by the court, has clients, has a legal assistant, and has already made appearances. He is thrilled and absolutely loves it. The whole situation is rife with opportunities for the future, references and contacts, and he's getting to do things he always wanted to. Today he got to talk to a real live bank robber! I guess that type of thing will get less exciting with time.
Ben loves school. Can you believe it? After everything we've been through the last two years? He has a great, experienced teacher, he's learning so well. He already graduated from phonics and was put in the Latin class. He loves words. He loves the order and structure of the school also. I drive him and my friend Elaine's kids in on my way to work (It's just at the foot of Capitol Hill), so I get some brief alone time with him then we all listen to and discuss a Book of Mormon Chapter. It's a great way to start the day.
Sophie is loving school also, and always carefully refers to "my teacher" (never "grandma"). She seems happy and is reading well. We've been reading Little House lately again, and she's really enjoying it. She's at the school fair with Dad, Ben and Noah right now.
Noah LOVES his preschool, which is T and TH mornings. He goes to Elaine's MWF and Thursday afternoons and Kims on Tuesday. It is a lot of juggling for a little guy, and although he loves Lincoln (Elaine's son) he's still sad sometimes about missing his family. I miss him a lot too. I was home sick yesterday from work and we had a wonderful (although horizontal) one-on-one day together with lots of books, TV, baths, and snacks. I hope my time away from him full time isn't too long, he is at such a wonderful age.
Lucy also seems to like her daycare, a few houses down the street. She loves the dog "Sassy" and has been talking up a storm all of a sudden since she started. Although her main phrase, since she has a constant diaper rash, is "Bum huwt!" She is just a sweet thing. Again, she's so young, I hope to not miss much. We really only have 2 hours a day, and on Tuesdays with choir, I don't see her for 36 hours straight.
Work is going well. I got the company listed on the Utah 100 and had a press release widely picked up this last week. I have some things in the fire, but no leads yet (I'm supposed to get 110 a month!) Were starting to make headway there on the branding side, though.
Choir is great and hard and fun. Brett and I agree seeing each other weekly is "odd." But we don't always talk, which is fine. I just started studying with the associate choir director, Jane Fjeldsted, and she's just amazing, and seems to understand what I'm trying to do with my life, as it follows a lot of what she felt like she was supposed to do. She's a blessing. The music is very cool.
On that note, I have tickets for our fall concert, which is super intense and amazing, with songs in African, Philipino, Japanese, Tongan, Latin--maybe some English thrown in. But it isn't boring stuff, there are drums and live African dancers--like I said, very intense and cool. I need to sell at least 4 season tickets (4 shows--looking at you, mom and Paw/Maw-in-Law) and 10 others for October. Donations are also needed, as this choir, although it has a very famous, talented director, lives in the shadow of a certain other large choir, which will remain nameless, but happens to be funded by a multi-million dollar organization, so expectations for choirs are high, but our funding is not quite on par with that.
See the show details here. Ticket prices are cheaper if you get them from me--$15 for one show, I think $45 for season.
So, if you live here, please buy a ticket for my choir performance in October. I have just a week or two to sell them, so call me!
Life is pretty good, so very, very busy, but with good stuff. My house is a total mess, which stresses me. And if my garden was this neglected three months ago, nothing would have grown. But I'm still getting tons of corn, squash and tomatoes, now melons even. I know yield would have been even better if I'd had the time in the last month, but I'm fine with that.
Ok, I can't help myself, I just have to get it out. Silly Paylin was making me insane, retarded political banter was making me insane, and now this bailout is making me literally insane.
This huge bailout is handily giving the taxpayer all the irresponsible institutions' bad debt. They say it's for the people, that if the stock market collapses, the people will suffer. That is true to some extent, but it isn't really for the people at all. And we will suffer anyway, both long and short term. Because of this bail out, and because of what led to it.
They are now simply printing fake money, pushing off the bubble bursting, but only making it bigger when it happens. And while the financial industry touts free market and deregulation in good times, they are now part of the most overarching socialization of our economy that has ever been perpetrated on the American people. It may put off the disaster we earned from irresponsibility, but it won't avoid it.
Meanwhile, single working moms and unemployed dads are told they need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and be responsible for themselves, yet if you are on wall street you can step right up to the free money, and the taxpayer will foot the bill.
I've never been so angry at our government in my life, and can't imagine that this sham is going to go over in the name of our protection--there should be riots in the streets--but wait--there's something good on TV . . .
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Great Chicken Massacre of 2008
Well, it was really only six roosters. It appears that 3 of my 10 layers are probably roosters, so I kept all 4 female fryers alive. It was much easier this time around. David took an idea from a guy at my work and we still used the "killing cone" but we used large pruning shears first, which broke the neck and got them dead fast and then finished off with a knife. I tried to pluck one, which looks nice in the end, but took so long I said bag it and had David skin the rest. It was a better division of labor, he said, for him to kill and skin and for me to gut. It took way longer than a respectable person should take, but since he put them on ice after skinning, I had to gut cold chickens, which was SO much better psychologically than warm ones.
I eat less meat all around now since that first chicken murder, but suffice it to say that I'm fine with killing and cleaning chickens now (and probably most animals of similar size), which is a skill that may come in handy sometime, who knows.
Mom helped pick lots of garden stuff and I have 10 pounds of cherry tomatoes because I didn't plan well.
For dinner Saturday, we had a chowder with corn (neighbors who apparently didn't see my corn field), potatoes and onions (my garden) and brocolli (Costco) with zucchini banana bread (my garden and a facist banana republic governing oppressed workers with the Chiquita militia, respectively). We were proud of our #7 produce count for one meal.
The doctor told my on Friday I will probably need a hysterectomy this year. Any wise advice on that is welcome.
Michele asked what race I was preparing for--the answer is a sprint triathlon (or, the sissy triathlon). I already do almost the equivalent over three days but I'm moving toward doing them all on one day in less than 90 minutes.
So the funny choir story. When David was on a mission I dated a very nice guy for 9 months named Brett. He was very complimentary and, let's just say it, fawning, and even though if the record was read back it would be clear I told him repeatedly that I really felt I needed to be with David, my actions spoke otherwise because of my own selfish need to have a nice guy fawn on me. Plus, he really was a good friend and I liked him. Just not in the irrational, apparently eternal infatuation-style way I liked/like my totally grumpy and un-fawning David.
So, this went on until the Wednesday before the Saturday David got home, when I was visiting him in Provo and just woke up and said, "Crap, I gotta go."
I drove away, never spoke to him again, was married two months later, I heard gruesome reports on the results of my horrible handling of the situation, and learned in 2000 that he had never married.
So, the funny story--you saw it coming--yup, he's in my choir. I'll see him every week now--and he's a baritone and I'm a SII, so we literally face each other the whole time in the U-shaped room.
The good news: he did finally get married three years ago. He has a 22 YO stepson and no children.
I saw him and after an initial, "Oh crap!" I just went up on the break and said, "Hey, we gonna talk and be friends or would you rather not?" He stared at me in confusion then horror (have I changed that much? He didn't recognize me!), then he quickly covered with friendliness. We parted, then I realized he was absent the next 20 minutes of practice. Then, in an attempt to get it all laid out then and not drag things on, I asked him to talk with me a few minutes after practice to make sure it would all be cool with our weekly seeing each other and whatnot. He was nice and chatty and offered me a nice platonic yet snug hug, which was strangely familiar despite the years. Fifteen years is enough for him to get over me being a total self-absorbed @$#* and completely messing with his head and life, right? I know a good week is enough to get over me, but to get over the leavings of my evilness?
Arg.
Life is stranger than fiction.
David says I can still go to choir, he just doesn't want to ever meet this person.
Well, back to a crazy busy week. Manic ambition is a slave driver.
I eat less meat all around now since that first chicken murder, but suffice it to say that I'm fine with killing and cleaning chickens now (and probably most animals of similar size), which is a skill that may come in handy sometime, who knows.
Mom helped pick lots of garden stuff and I have 10 pounds of cherry tomatoes because I didn't plan well.
For dinner Saturday, we had a chowder with corn (neighbors who apparently didn't see my corn field), potatoes and onions (my garden) and brocolli (Costco) with zucchini banana bread (my garden and a facist banana republic governing oppressed workers with the Chiquita militia, respectively). We were proud of our #7 produce count for one meal.
The doctor told my on Friday I will probably need a hysterectomy this year. Any wise advice on that is welcome.
Michele asked what race I was preparing for--the answer is a sprint triathlon (or, the sissy triathlon). I already do almost the equivalent over three days but I'm moving toward doing them all on one day in less than 90 minutes.
- Swim: 750 m(0.5 mi) (I currently can do 900 in 30 minutes)
- Bike: 20 km(12.4 mi) (I am not quite there yet because my lunch hour is too short and I am too slow and stationary bikes are dumb, and I need to get me a real bike)
- Run: 5 km (3.2 mi) (I'm slow because I can't run yet and have to walk, but I can do it in 50 minutes).
So the funny choir story. When David was on a mission I dated a very nice guy for 9 months named Brett. He was very complimentary and, let's just say it, fawning, and even though if the record was read back it would be clear I told him repeatedly that I really felt I needed to be with David, my actions spoke otherwise because of my own selfish need to have a nice guy fawn on me. Plus, he really was a good friend and I liked him. Just not in the irrational, apparently eternal infatuation-style way I liked/like my totally grumpy and un-fawning David.
So, this went on until the Wednesday before the Saturday David got home, when I was visiting him in Provo and just woke up and said, "Crap, I gotta go."
I drove away, never spoke to him again, was married two months later, I heard gruesome reports on the results of my horrible handling of the situation, and learned in 2000 that he had never married.
So, the funny story--you saw it coming--yup, he's in my choir. I'll see him every week now--and he's a baritone and I'm a SII, so we literally face each other the whole time in the U-shaped room.
The good news: he did finally get married three years ago. He has a 22 YO stepson and no children.
I saw him and after an initial, "Oh crap!" I just went up on the break and said, "Hey, we gonna talk and be friends or would you rather not?" He stared at me in confusion then horror (have I changed that much? He didn't recognize me!), then he quickly covered with friendliness. We parted, then I realized he was absent the next 20 minutes of practice. Then, in an attempt to get it all laid out then and not drag things on, I asked him to talk with me a few minutes after practice to make sure it would all be cool with our weekly seeing each other and whatnot. He was nice and chatty and offered me a nice platonic yet snug hug, which was strangely familiar despite the years. Fifteen years is enough for him to get over me being a total self-absorbed @$#* and completely messing with his head and life, right? I know a good week is enough to get over me, but to get over the leavings of my evilness?
Arg.
Life is stranger than fiction.
David says I can still go to choir, he just doesn't want to ever meet this person.
Well, back to a crazy busy week. Manic ambition is a slave driver.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Still here
Hi, I'm still alive, things are great, super busy from pre-dawn until well after dusk--more like midnight. I'm loving work, it's going well, I'm training for a race during lunch hours. I'm studying choir like crazy, my choir is so challenging, I love it--all African, Latin, Philipino, Tongan and Japanese. I have a funny story to tell you about that, but my blogging time these days is taken up with actually speaking to my husband, which is sadly rare. This post took place during a quick break he took to get his dinner out of the oven. He's on the stairs, so I'm out.
Monday, August 25, 2008
A little reading won't hurt anyone
Thanks for your sweet comments. I'm excited. Choir starts tomorrow.
I've taken a hiatus lately from my political junkie habit, but I did read a good article I'd like to pass along.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/17/opinion/17rich.html
You are well aware of the a tidy little story for the masses--that we know John McCain, the brave veteran and long-time senator, and we don't know B. Hussein Obama--"Is he even 40 yet? Who IS this guy?" People keep putting out this message to create a sense of confusion and mistrust so we can make decisions on characatures of both created by talking heads, not on careful, in-depth study.
First, they are politicians, and mistrust should be par for the course either way.
Still, it's time to share the mistrust. Maybe "POW Republican" is all you need to decide your vote, but here's a little more well-researched background on the other guy we don't know, Mr. McCain.
I have liked McCain for some time, although I still like Obama better. Until the general campaign began and everybody got to extreme pandering, I comforted myself knowing we'd be ok either way. But the man is forgetting basic facts, basic names, basic geography, let alone the details of our international relationships. It makes me very nervous.
Anyway, read it, you won't die.
I've got to get back to tetrachords!
I've taken a hiatus lately from my political junkie habit, but I did read a good article I'd like to pass along.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/17/opinion/17rich.html
You are well aware of the a tidy little story for the masses--that we know John McCain, the brave veteran and long-time senator, and we don't know B. Hussein Obama--"Is he even 40 yet? Who IS this guy?" People keep putting out this message to create a sense of confusion and mistrust so we can make decisions on characatures of both created by talking heads, not on careful, in-depth study.
First, they are politicians, and mistrust should be par for the course either way.
Still, it's time to share the mistrust. Maybe "POW Republican" is all you need to decide your vote, but here's a little more well-researched background on the other guy we don't know, Mr. McCain.
I have liked McCain for some time, although I still like Obama better. Until the general campaign began and everybody got to extreme pandering, I comforted myself knowing we'd be ok either way. But the man is forgetting basic facts, basic names, basic geography, let alone the details of our international relationships. It makes me very nervous.
Anyway, read it, you won't die.
I've got to get back to tetrachords!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Breaking the Silence
I know I have been a very non-blogging blogger of late. Here is one reason.
When I went back to work, I felt inclined to begin voice study again, and started looking for a teacher more seriously. A short time into work, I got to know a coworker a little better who is also a singer--sings with the Tab, in fact. I have never sung in a (non-church related) choir, as I was a prideful little brat who refused to pay my dues way back in 9th grade and have regretted it ever since. I liked to hear about his choir experiences, but I am a lonely soloist who can't sight-read on the spot, and, as I have always said, "am not a choral singer."
A few days after I had more in depth conversations with this co-worker, I had a very strong prompting that I was to do more choral music. I blew off this prompting as an emotional response to the various choral CDs I had been listening to at work. A day later, I got a similar prompting. Again, attributed it to hormones.
Finally, the third time I felt it, I prayed about it, and decided I would move forward as if it were a real prompting, as that's what it kind of appeared to be. I jumped in to learn what I should do to start, talking with my coworker about advice.
I looked into area choirs and contacted them about auditions. Almost all of them were completing their auditions within days of my first contact. It was with a lax attitude of "what the heck, I'm just following a prompting," that I signed up for a few auditions, all to take place within the next 48 hours.
I spent the next two days doing crash sight-singing drills, and re-memorizing the words to Schubert's "An Die Musik." (Which, before this ordeal, was my favorite German lieder--not so sure now). It just so happened that my first trial voice lesson with my co-workers voice teacher was two hours before my first audition.
Having been without a formal teacher for 8 years, I have formed some bad habits, and that I knew. Although my time with this new teacher was short, I told him of my audition that night. He knew of the choir and knew the director personally. He worked to correct some major issues on the spot, told me what mattered most to that particular director and I left re-remembering how to sing quite a bit better (not just to please sacrament meeting audiences, but in the true Walkyrie sense--think viking horns).
I felt I gave about 50-60% at that audition. I was out of breath from racing there even as I began to sing, and it was just very loose all over the place, IMO. But, since I felt I was following a prompting, I felt fine about going and getting that experience. It's good to be humbled, however uncomfortable it may be, if it makes me feel like working harder.
This first choir I auditioned for was the one I was the most interested in--all classical repertoire, good director to learn from and known in the community.
Well, four days after my audition they invited me to join one of their three choirs--the Women's Chorus. I'm excited, and a little curious about why all the prompting and what the future is about. I'm getting all this sight singing curriculum this week and am just really enjoying it. A musical life would be my greatest dream, so I'm just really grateful that the Lord knows me and is sending me in this direction, putting the right people in my path and giving me just-in-time promptings--even though this specific path isn't one I've previously considered.
So, sight-singing study and preserving the vast offerings from the garden have now taken up all blogging time. But I'm still aiming to keep my Sunday journal.
For me, it's really, really exciting. I just got my acceptance email, so I wanted to share my excitement.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Excellent Spam
I may be the last person in the world to see this, but I got some spam from my Aunt the other day and it was remarkable because it was the absolute first piece of email spam meant to be inspiring that I actually found inspiring. For a variety of reasons, I have triathalons on the mind anyway, so that may have been part of it. Still, here you go, unedited spam. Forgive me in advance:
"A son asked his father, 'Dad will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father, despite having a heart condition, said 'yes' They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'yes' to his son's request of going through yet another race together.
"One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'yes' once again. For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride and ends with a 26.2 mile marathon along the coast of the 'Big' Island in Hawaii. Father and son completed the race together. Please view this:
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513 "
"A son asked his father, 'Dad will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father, despite having a heart condition, said 'yes' They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'yes' to his son's request of going through yet another race together.
"One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'yes' once again. For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride and ends with a 26.2 mile marathon along the coast of the 'Big' Island in Hawaii. Father and son completed the race together. Please view this:
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513 "
pics
Despite the bee concerns, it seems every flower in the garden has a bee in it. This is a round zucchini plant, yummy for slicing and frying or for stuffing.
Children in the Corn: here's Noah, but this pic is a few weeks old, the corn is much bigger now.
This is about a standard harvest every 3 days, in order L to R: Italian striped zucchini, round zucchini, hot peppers, yellow squash, cucumbers, lettuce, chard, red potatoes.
Here's that pie I made way back when we picked the cherries
Ben, tie and pie.
The farm business really does help the kids learn to work--here they are shelling peas--they did a great job harvesting green beans on Saturday (about 4 gallons--my aunt picked the same amount last Saturday, and they are supposed to have a second batch of beans come on before the season ends.
Here is our stew pickings we foraged for on that Sunday a few weeks back, and below, the stew.
Yesterday our friends the Mosses came over for dinner. Carrie and I picked green beans, zucchini, yellow squash, basil, onion and potatoes and then came in and had pork chops (David's contribution), smashed red potatoes, a zucchini/yellow squash/basil/onion/tomato stir fry, fresh white nectarines and creamed green beans. We never eat like that for some reason, it was truly amazing--and except for the pork, all from the garden. Next year it will be al of it, because David and two neighbor men are going to raise pigs. Hm. Oh, to hear one of my favorite songs ever, just go over and visit the Mosses blog.
Things are great--enjoying work, went to the gym every day during lunch, kids doing ok--I think a little unsettled again going from the week together camping to having everyone back to work.
I'm scheming and dreaming as usual, focusing on the goals I want to reach before 40 (3.5 years away), but the schemes are now ridiculous enough I can't even blog about them. :) I like aiming absurdly high--it's exhilarating.
Tomorrow is the day all our major financial stress is supposed to end--everyone gets paid and the budget from here on out is positive--that's definitely exciting, although it does sound like famous last words, doesn't it?
Family night tip of the week--wow, we see so much better results if we have FHE during dinner! Everyone is quiet (eating), and relatively listening. Our last FHE was the first one I can recall where we actually felt the Spirit and things went like they are "supposed to." Ben gave the lesson--it was just great.
I'm nervous for school starting--four kids in four different places--the homework thing. We're starting some music lessons and sports on top of everything. But, I'm trying to prepare and live in the now. Still haven't nailed down a school for Noah, but everyone else is pretty much taken care of.
Despite the FISA and the retarded Cap-n-Trade plan my Obama shares with McCain, he's still my favorite. I realized when I got mad about FISA and took him off my blog some thought he no longer had my vote. 'Tis not so, I'm still reading heavily on it all, and I guess he can't please me on everything.
David taught Gospel Doctrine today and topic was war--he did such a great job. I thought it would be more touchy than it was, but he was able to make some good, scripturally-based bipartisan points. There were a few wacky comments, but overall it was a great meeting and everyone gave great feedback. I realized today that on the days I don't have to play for primary I enjoy the ward and church better. I'm grateful that it is an alternating week schedule, because I also like playing piano.
Tonight I finished my very first hymn arrangement--a duet of "In Humility" (272). My cousin wanted to sing it together in church and I've never seen an arrangement of it. I am so happy with how it turned out! Turns out it probably doesn't have arrangements around because that particular song doesn't allow stuff like that without permission. I just may send it in and ask for permission to post it free on the web, however, I don't feel bad just using it for one Sac. Mtg. It was very rewarding and educational for me.
Sorry this is random. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the pics I've been promising for so long.
xoxox
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
What a difference six days makes!
I can't believe how much the garden exploded while I was gone! Much thanks to my dear mother for keeping plants and chickens watered and cared for.
I keep promising pictures, they're piling up. I have over 6' corn, squash plants taking over the place, and a tree full of white nectarines almost ready to pick and freeze--a few are perfectly ripe but most are almost there. Tomatoes are just starting--it was two yesterday, six today. You know where this is headed, I have over fifty tomato plants...
Much thanks to Carrie for lining me up with an arsenal of canning jars.
Have super fevered kids the past three days--Noah almost hit 105 today. Looking forward to having health insurance in 20 days.
I am very grateful to a nice family who talked in church today. Sundays bum me out because, unlike life in Pasadena, I don't look forward to going to church at all, and have onery thoughts much too often. I didn't feel well myself today and wanted to stay home with the sick kids, but couldn't find a sub for the primary piano. That was the Lord getting in the way, because this family with five kids under ten with two working parents were truly kindred spirits. They were open about their trials and experiences and reminded me that the Lord loves and guides each of us individually. When we're open with each other about what we're going through, it really helps other people feel less alone. I'm usually the open person, but today I was the "less alone" person.
Not a vegetarian yet,
Valerie
I keep promising pictures, they're piling up. I have over 6' corn, squash plants taking over the place, and a tree full of white nectarines almost ready to pick and freeze--a few are perfectly ripe but most are almost there. Tomatoes are just starting--it was two yesterday, six today. You know where this is headed, I have over fifty tomato plants...
Much thanks to Carrie for lining me up with an arsenal of canning jars.
Have super fevered kids the past three days--Noah almost hit 105 today. Looking forward to having health insurance in 20 days.
I am very grateful to a nice family who talked in church today. Sundays bum me out because, unlike life in Pasadena, I don't look forward to going to church at all, and have onery thoughts much too often. I didn't feel well myself today and wanted to stay home with the sick kids, but couldn't find a sub for the primary piano. That was the Lord getting in the way, because this family with five kids under ten with two working parents were truly kindred spirits. They were open about their trials and experiences and reminded me that the Lord loves and guides each of us individually. When we're open with each other about what we're going through, it really helps other people feel less alone. I'm usually the open person, but today I was the "less alone" person.
Not a vegetarian yet,
Valerie
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Rafting
We had a super fun time on the Snake River in Jackson, I think we did 12 runs total, Ben did 8 of them and had a fabulous Big 9 birthday. I did five or six runs I think. David and I did one of them in a two-man canoe (seen above with David and Ben).
I went into the river involuntarily three times over the course of the week, two of which were respectable falls (one was an eddy). The river wasn't too cold so voluntary dunks were pleasant.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Self-reflections
We had to harvest a chicken yesterday because she (a fryer) broke her leg. It was generally uneventful, unpleasant but not traumatic, and not that messy, really.
Well, it sure set me to thinking.
There may be some of you who think I've taken on all this farminess due to an overly idyllic view of farm life, because the old ways were harder and dirtier they must be better. While hard and dirty does have it's benefits to keep us working and humble (and healthier), I didn't go into this thinking it would be fun and games. I wanted to see if I could do it, especially when it came to animals.
I've been carrying around this notion that if I can easily eat animals every day as long as they are neatly refined down to a perfect fillet of protien and wrapped like candy, that I am not being honest with myself. Forget everyone else, for me, I just wanted to look it in the eye and face it and say, "I'm going to eat you." And, if I couldn't, then I think I need to seriously consider eating it, even when someone else does the dirty work.
Take fish. I can catch a fish with a hook in it's face, pull it out of the water, hit it on the head with a pair of pliers, slit it's belly with a knife, scrape out it's guts, fry it in a pan, and eat it up right there--no problem. I feel perfectly at peace with my fish eating. Whatever my line in the sand is between people, pets and food, fish are squarely on the tasty side of it.
So now I understand first hand what it's like to kill a chicken, I know what it is I'm doing when I order an enchilada or a chicken caesar. But it's likely the chicken in those entrees didn't have a carefree life in the backyard up until the last second. They were in a body-sized cage and/or debeaked, living in chicken hell right up until they were sent to chicken heaven.
Now, chickens are dumb. I've been caring for my chickens for almost three months now, and I will give you that. But they are dumb in a sympathic way for me. And dumb doesn't mean you deserve mistreatment. If you are a living thing created by God, some respect is due.
There may be some of you who think I've taken on all this farminess due to an overly idyllic view of farm life, because the old ways were harder and dirtier they must be better. While hard and dirty does have it's benefits to keep us working and humble (and healthier), I didn't go into this thinking it would be fun and games. I wanted to see if I could do it, especially when it came to animals.
I've been carrying around this notion that if I can easily eat animals every day as long as they are neatly refined down to a perfect fillet of protien and wrapped like candy, that I am not being honest with myself. Forget everyone else, for me, I just wanted to look it in the eye and face it and say, "I'm going to eat you." And, if I couldn't, then I think I need to seriously consider eating it, even when someone else does the dirty work.
Take fish. I can catch a fish with a hook in it's face, pull it out of the water, hit it on the head with a pair of pliers, slit it's belly with a knife, scrape out it's guts, fry it in a pan, and eat it up right there--no problem. I feel perfectly at peace with my fish eating. Whatever my line in the sand is between people, pets and food, fish are squarely on the tasty side of it.
So now I understand first hand what it's like to kill a chicken, I know what it is I'm doing when I order an enchilada or a chicken caesar. But it's likely the chicken in those entrees didn't have a carefree life in the backyard up until the last second. They were in a body-sized cage and/or debeaked, living in chicken hell right up until they were sent to chicken heaven.
Now, chickens are dumb. I've been caring for my chickens for almost three months now, and I will give you that. But they are dumb in a sympathic way for me. And dumb doesn't mean you deserve mistreatment. If you are a living thing created by God, some respect is due.
But, in some ways, they are not dumb. For instance, I sometimes come out later than I should to shut the door, and the ubiquitous escaped hen or two is asleep outside the fence. The main rooster is not inside asleep with the others, he's outside in the fenced yard as close as he can get to her, waiting for her to come in so they can go to sleep.
Or, say I pick up a chicken to inspect it. All the other chickens freeze and stare at me, "What's she going to do?" You may think they're worried for their personal safety in the moment. No. They're watching and observing with whatever cataloguing ability those tiny little brains can offer.
Yesterday I went in to get the injured fryer, they all freeze. I take her out of the hen house and around the yard. They all come out then freeze in place, staring at me. I walk away several yards and look back. All staring at me. The crazy telepathic thought comes into my head, "Where's she going with Betty?" Even worse, maybe they have millenia of genetic memory going on in there and they're thinking, "Oh-oh, Betty's got a broken foot, she's dinner tonight."
And here's an interesting observation. Up until yesterday afternoon, they had gotten relatively comfortable with my presence, sometimes escaped hens even letting me pick them up and put them back. Not today. They scattered in a snap when I came in this morning to get as far away as possible. They're not 100% dumb, just 95%.
Yes, and who cares? So chickens have little chicken feelings. It is our God-given right to eat them. Man has been given "dominion" over the animals, who are to be enjoyed "with prudence and thanksgiving," albeit "sparingly." "It is pleasing" to the Lord that they should "not be eaten" but only used "in time of winter or famine," or to "save your lives." (Let me just sloppily paraphrase four books of scripture on the topic.) Animals are ours to do with what we will, but it pleases God when we won't take a life that we don't need to.
The chicken did not die as fast as we'd hoped. Our knife was not as sharp as we thought. Although it felt like an eternity, it was really only a few extra moments. I held the chicken's feet with her head down in the cone and could tell when she was cut, when she was not yet dead after being cut, and when she was dead. I could feel the difference in her muscles between the tension of pain and the nervous dead twitching that would propel the running around headless should we have chosen that method.
I instinctively went to not watch when David made the cut, but I reminded myself that this was the point of the experiment. "If I can't do this, if I can't take it, I don't eat chicken." I won't be the person who can do as I wish as long as I am not faced with the reality of it. I don't want to be a person who will happily wear my $5 Wall-mart t-shirt simply because I don't have to look in the face the starving 7-year-old who sewed it for me.
Yesterday I went in to get the injured fryer, they all freeze. I take her out of the hen house and around the yard. They all come out then freeze in place, staring at me. I walk away several yards and look back. All staring at me. The crazy telepathic thought comes into my head, "Where's she going with Betty?" Even worse, maybe they have millenia of genetic memory going on in there and they're thinking, "Oh-oh, Betty's got a broken foot, she's dinner tonight."
And here's an interesting observation. Up until yesterday afternoon, they had gotten relatively comfortable with my presence, sometimes escaped hens even letting me pick them up and put them back. Not today. They scattered in a snap when I came in this morning to get as far away as possible. They're not 100% dumb, just 95%.
Yes, and who cares? So chickens have little chicken feelings. It is our God-given right to eat them. Man has been given "dominion" over the animals, who are to be enjoyed "with prudence and thanksgiving," albeit "sparingly." "It is pleasing" to the Lord that they should "not be eaten" but only used "in time of winter or famine," or to "save your lives." (Let me just sloppily paraphrase four books of scripture on the topic.) Animals are ours to do with what we will, but it pleases God when we won't take a life that we don't need to.
The chicken did not die as fast as we'd hoped. Our knife was not as sharp as we thought. Although it felt like an eternity, it was really only a few extra moments. I held the chicken's feet with her head down in the cone and could tell when she was cut, when she was not yet dead after being cut, and when she was dead. I could feel the difference in her muscles between the tension of pain and the nervous dead twitching that would propel the running around headless should we have chosen that method.
I instinctively went to not watch when David made the cut, but I reminded myself that this was the point of the experiment. "If I can't do this, if I can't take it, I don't eat chicken." I won't be the person who can do as I wish as long as I am not faced with the reality of it. I don't want to be a person who will happily wear my $5 Wall-mart t-shirt simply because I don't have to look in the face the starving 7-year-old who sewed it for me.
I had to watch, and realize what a sissy my ancestors would think I am.
I'm not about to go running around judging people on this, because our very way of living in our time and place has wide ramifications and negative impacts on incalculable people past, present and future, and it is frankly an impossible, crazy-making downer to live that way, and immensely hypocritical to look outside oneself on that. But just for me, I needed to know, I want to live consciously as best I can without being incapacitated and alienating everyone I know. If I find out that how I live is at another's expense, I don't want to hide from that.
Now, let's be practical here. That chicken was hurt and in pain and it wouldn't serve anyone to let it sit there. What, would I take it to the vet? Seriously! David and I both agreed that it was good that we had the one to do by itself before "harvest day," so we'd know what to expect and what we want to do differently. The chicken had to go down.
This time, I just skinned it and gutted it, rather than the scalding and the plucking and the singeing, so it was faster. Still, as flint-faced as I went into the thing, I found myself rushing to get the chicken into a familiar state--headless, footless, featherless, hollow and ready to roast--then it wouldn't be the chicken I carried out of the henhouse, it would be just like the pre-wrapped protien products at the store. Then I would feel better.
Then I went to the store later and saw the meat section, but in my head were visions of whole flocks and herds living mostly horrific lives, not enjoying the full amount of their creation, but masses being bred inhumanely to feed insatiable gluttony and waste. I realized then that I may be in for some changes.
The experiment is still inconclusive, but definitely is productive, regardless of the ambiguity. The fact is, at this point, it seems wasteful that I must kill something else to feed myself when I live in a time of plenty with so many other healthy options. And now at least I know I would not be able to stomach harvesting a mammal, even though I read all the chapters on it in my Country Living book and tried to mentally go through it to see if I could deal. That answers that question right there--no.
If it takes denial to do it--if I have to hide myself from the truth of it to make it comfortable to me, then, well--I shouldn't be doing it, right?
I'm not about to go running around judging people on this, because our very way of living in our time and place has wide ramifications and negative impacts on incalculable people past, present and future, and it is frankly an impossible, crazy-making downer to live that way, and immensely hypocritical to look outside oneself on that. But just for me, I needed to know, I want to live consciously as best I can without being incapacitated and alienating everyone I know. If I find out that how I live is at another's expense, I don't want to hide from that.
Now, let's be practical here. That chicken was hurt and in pain and it wouldn't serve anyone to let it sit there. What, would I take it to the vet? Seriously! David and I both agreed that it was good that we had the one to do by itself before "harvest day," so we'd know what to expect and what we want to do differently. The chicken had to go down.
This time, I just skinned it and gutted it, rather than the scalding and the plucking and the singeing, so it was faster. Still, as flint-faced as I went into the thing, I found myself rushing to get the chicken into a familiar state--headless, footless, featherless, hollow and ready to roast--then it wouldn't be the chicken I carried out of the henhouse, it would be just like the pre-wrapped protien products at the store. Then I would feel better.
Then I went to the store later and saw the meat section, but in my head were visions of whole flocks and herds living mostly horrific lives, not enjoying the full amount of their creation, but masses being bred inhumanely to feed insatiable gluttony and waste. I realized then that I may be in for some changes.
The experiment is still inconclusive, but definitely is productive, regardless of the ambiguity. The fact is, at this point, it seems wasteful that I must kill something else to feed myself when I live in a time of plenty with so many other healthy options. And now at least I know I would not be able to stomach harvesting a mammal, even though I read all the chapters on it in my Country Living book and tried to mentally go through it to see if I could deal. That answers that question right there--no.
If it takes denial to do it--if I have to hide myself from the truth of it to make it comfortable to me, then, well--I shouldn't be doing it, right?
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